The Game (Nicky Case)
Warning! This article is NSFW!
This article may contain content unsuitable for readers under eighteen years or older.
"Okay... You know whaaaaat? Screw this. Can't you attain your daily dose of LOLs through non-violent means? I mean, after 37 deaths this gets pretty stupid. So, screw the violence, screw this grassy platform, screw gravity, screw that... CLOUD... and... SCREW. THIS. GAME. And screw you. And your sister. And whatever pets you may own at the moment. Hey at least it's not VIOLENT, GOOD GAWD."— Pacifism.
:the game: is a platform Flash game developed and published by Nicky "nutcasenightmare" Case. It was first released on MaxGames.com, but it was also released on Newgrounds in November 1, 2008.
It gained more notoriety from Markiplier (a huge gaming YouTuber), who made a gameplay video.
":the game: is a representation of the world we love and know today! AKA real screwed up. With over 40 levels, over 60 characters, over 3 minutes worth of cutscenes, over 2 months of development, over 9000 jokes, over $153 spent on coffee, and over 6 statistics made up, you'd think I'd have a better title."— Official description at Newgrounds
:the game: is basically a nutshell of everything that happens over the internet and the world... in a very pissed off way.
The controls are the extremely basic of what nearly every single game has. All you do is just move with the arrow keys, making the character either walk, jump or crouch. There may exist a special action with SPACEBAR, which varies depending on the situation.
The main mode tells to the player progress through some levels.
- Anarchism: You're in a grassy floating platform with absolutely nothing (other than the clouds). All you can do is nothing but jump and kill yourself. Oh, you died? Don't worry, you will still progress through.
- Pantheism: Same as Anarchism, except it's Albert Einstein-themed.
- Hollow Earth: Same as Anarchism, except it's literally an infinte/bottomless pit.
- Nihilism: Same as Anarchism. Nothing but a filler.
- Communism: Same as Anarchism, but there are some AI-based NPCs. They will suddenly say you're not "equally enough", after your action.
- Communism 2: Jospeh Stalin appears from nowhere, crushes all the NPCs and kicks you from the grassy platform!
- Monogamy: You must meet two girls. You will gain a heart if you meet one of them. Then, both hearts will...
- Censorship: This one is just an animated short... it has no gameplay. It shows a Chinese ricefield farmer speaking about the Beijing 2008 olympics, but he suddenly slaps at the screen with a poster using Mao Zedong.
- Fatalism: "I think we all know what's going to happen... it's inevitable, Mr. Anderson!" Yes, same as Anarchism.
- Shooting Lawyers in the Face: Duck Hunt, except it's with lawyers and journalists.
- Domestic Spying: Same as Anarchism, except you're being recorded. Then, the video is deepfaked to make you look like a terrorist (in-game, obviously).
- Alcoholism: You control a drunk man walking, and he is guided by your cursor/mouse. You must make him stay between the road's division of vehicles' direction. Do any mistake and he will faint.
- The Five Stages: Same as Anarchism, except you must do it five times... actually three times, with the last two being automatic. With those based on, respectively: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
- Abstinence Only: Same as Anarchism, except the "software" detects an STD (Server Transmitted Data) and crashes.
- Tibet: Shows a meditating person totally unaffected by two soldiers firing with machine guns. Tibet is represented by the one meditating. Then he disappears (as a "logging out from China") and...
- Feminism: You're told by some slacker to get some groceries. You must choose between groceries and freedom... oh, both have the same end. Nevermind.
- Global Warming: This is an auto-sidescrolling stage, and this time you (playing as Al Gore) really must win. You're in some snowy platforms melting from your back and you must reach to the end quickly.
- MC Escher: Try to reach to the top... in an optical illusion-based "stairs"... yes, the stairs are fake. You're actually walking in circles. No matter what you do, you will.
- Science: Some presentations of an science fair gone horribly wrong.
- Getting Down with Galileo: Two white things, respectively skinny and fat, will do the same thing from the previous Anarchism. This one was hard to understand...
- Benjamin Franklin's Shocking Discovery: The white thing flies a kite, holding it with a key. Then a thunder drops and the whole connection gets electrified, ending up killing him.
- Coming Soon: Large Hadron Collider: Two humans come from nowhere and makes a massive collision. Then a black hole comes from nowhere.
- Conservatism: Same as Anarchism.
- Capitalism: Collect the maximum of cash possible from the sky! Two AI-based NPCs will do the same thing.
- Democracy: You're on a fictional Newgrounds-esque website and you must fictionally vote for the game, ranging from 0 to 5 stars. An error message will appear, meaning that something bad happened. Two months later...
- Anime: Same as Anarchism, except you got a massive orange hair and either jumping, stomping (from the air) or falling will show mega-stylish cut-ins.
- Music Artists: Dance Dance Revolution, except it's a parody. You must choose between either a heavy metal punk, MC Hammer or Britney Spears.
- Heavy Metal: The arrows are just ↑ and ↓. Play badly and a pissed-off guy will slam the guitar in front of your face. The song played is unknown...
- MC Hammer: The arrows are just ← and →. Play badly and the same Chinese ricefield farmer from Censorship will slam the screen with a hammer. The song played is U Can't Touch This by the same artist.
- VMA 2007 Britney Spears: The arrows can't even reach the top! Press any of the arrow keys and Britney will faint. The song played is Gimme More by the same artist.
- Medicare: Same as Anarchism, except this time the level makes you like an user and dying will simulate a log off.
- Euthanasia: Same as Anarchism, except the very bottom acts like a portal and sends you to back to the ceiling. This causes an infinite loop. And because of the eternity taken, you will slowly become a skeleton. Click on the SLEEP button to fast forward.
- Aternative Medicine: This one is another animated short... it has no gameplay. You must heal a heart... but that heart feels more like a Tamagotchi!, rather than a real human. Here are some of the alternatives:
- Exorcism: Shows a holy cross of Christianism and throws water.
- Acupuncture: Puts two needles... then puts an electrifier in both needles.
- New Age: Perfurates it with a crystal.
- Magnet Therapy: Tries to do something with a magnetic fields.
- Homeopathy: Too obvious to descibe.
- Pacifism: Same as Anarchism, except the white person you control breaks the 4th wall, rants and quits. The quote shown at the very beginning of this article transcripts the rant.
- Couches: Two characters from already existing franchises (Mission Impossible and I'm Rick James) will destroy a sofa. Both will dispute which one will destroy a sofa's side faster. You must play as one of them.
- Troll: You play as a questionable green thing on a fictional Windows XP desktop and you must "attack the users and destroy a webpage" sending troll messages in 2 minutes before getting banned. The pages varies from:
- Internet memes;
- Emos, gothics and depression;
- YouTube viral videos;
- Dope: Same as Anarchism, except you must, first, pick up a leaf of Cannabis and become stoned as hell.
- Taming of the Shrew: Same as Anarchism, except it's kinky stuff-themed.
- Bush Administration: It's represented as a rotation shooter, parodying Asteroids. With the ship having the USA flag and the asteroids having the touchy subjects.
- Supernatural Claims: Pac-Man, except it's a horror/creepypasta parody. Unfortunately, this one is yet another animated short... it has no gameplay.
- Prisoner's Dilemma: This one was hard to understand correctly... you have to either drop the soap or rape and rely on luck/unluck to see if the opponent will do the inverse thing.
- Psychic: A mage will preview that you're going to defecate a dead monkey. Yuck, disgusting...!
- War on Terror: Same as Anarchism, except it's Soldier-themed.
- Comedy: Same as Anarchism, except a movie a director tells you to do it again just to add a "ba-dum-tss" and some laughs at the end. And then Mario appears from nowhere. Yeah, very "funny"...
- The End: Same as Anarchism, except it's the final level of the game. And while falling, the credits will roll.
Why It Intentionally Sucks
NOTE: As seen on the credits roll, this game is purposely bad and meant to be a joke.
- The incredibly uncreative title, possibly the worst in video game history. This is probably the reason for being the hardest game to even find on a search engine.
- Thanks to the extreme linearity, it nearly feels like a YouTube compilation video (except it's interactive), rather than a solid game. There are some useful parts but disconsidering those, the only thing you'll have here other than watching a longplay video on YouTube are just simple clicks and movements.
- At the very core of nearly every level, all you have to do is nothing but throw yourself and commit suicide. While this is part of the irony, this will somewhat end up pretty repetitive.
- Instead of winning, you have to lose to even progress. This not only makes the game unchallenging, but gives a shocking sensation.
- Trying to play well in some levels will just pad out the game.
- Some levels doesn't even have gameplay, as they're just a small animated movie. This just rubs salt in the wounds of BQ#2.
- Most of the subjects it touches are very sensitive and hard to discuss in an unbiased manner, making this game unfunny and tasteless.
- The subjects it touches are also totally out-of-place and out-of-context, making the plot very inconsistent and random. Probably because of what's said at the Overview section above.
- Repetitive soundtrack. The same music from Anarchism (the intro part of "Head First Into A Wall" by Xerochi) will repeat over-and-over again through the gameplay (although there are some exceptions).
- The laughably bad scream done by the white thing.
- Although not much of the matter for the game's development quality, a substantial amount of assets are unoriginal. Those are taken (and thankfully credited) from already existing content on Newgrounds and royalty-free websites.
- Speaking of unoriginality, it makes references to (and even uses content from) popular culture things like Britney Spears, Rick Astley, Dragon Ball Z and many others. Whoever made this must be very careful with the DMCA thing.
- While the opening has a "Skip" button, the opening itself has an earthquake shaking that even the skip button is affected, making it hard to click it.
- Extremely bloody and gory, but in a good way.
- Epic and very brutal opening, set to Metaljonus' "1234 go!".
- Good animation, being courtesy of the discontinued Adobe Flash.
- In fact, almost all of the visual assets are vector-based, rather than simple static images. Meaning that the game can be upscaled to above 4K without any distortion.
- Some levels are useful and fun, such as Capitalism, Global Warming, Troll, Bush Admin and Couches (two-players only).
Despite being self-aware about the quality, it still managed to be one of Newgrounds' greatest hits. With over 3.5M views (with the help of Markiplier's gameplay video) and a score of 9.2/10 on the website, it was enough to spawn two sequels, which are noticeably better by signal.
It should be noted that the high score is due to the same sensation and experience given from stuff like "weird side of the Internet" videos and YouTube Poops. If it was a full retail game (with some hype behind it), the reception would be totally different.
If you wonder why many of the references are severely outdated, that is because of the release date. It was released in late 2008, a time where people, internet, trends and memes had a partially different behavior.