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Super Mario Hardcore

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Super Mario Hardcore
SMH.png
This game is indeed hardcore, but not in the way the developer would have expected.
Genre(s): Platform
Platform(s): Internet
Release: 2006
Developer(s): Casualty (under the Casualty Rocks label)
Predecessor: Super Mario Rampage

Super Mario Hardcore is a flash game created in 2006 by an author named Casualty. It is based on levels of Super Mario World but it adds the ability to shoot with firearms and to use a melee weapon in combat, as opposed to stomping on enemies.

Why It Intentionally Sucks

NOTE: This game was probably made as a joke.

  1. The start screen is vulgar, profane and graphically unappealing. The developer also threatens to hunt down/rape players who don't like his game. Although, this is probably intended as a joke.
  2. The title screen also contains annoying requests to upvote the game, probably to seek attention from the developers to like the game.
  3. Broken jumping system that makes jumps hard to perform when reaching some slightly higher platforms is needed.
  4. Realistic weapons are a questionable mechanic for a Mario game, but one particular weapon, the Giant Wrench, is not only a ridiculous and over the top addition, it also has little to no startup lag or end lag, a long range, and a colossal hitbox.
  5. Depending on the situation, the selected weapon doesn't let you go through passages because the sprite of the weapon interferes with the environment.
  6. A glitch with the wrench allows you to clip through solid surfaces, circumventing what little challenge this game has in the first place. It is also easy to perform, as all you have to do is walk against a wall and mash fire. Walking to the left of any level and performing this glitch will force Mario to fall under the level, and the only way to fix the glitch is to reload the page.
  7. Enemies can walk through the environment of the levels, which you can't do without the Wrench Glitch.
  8. Koopas are the only enemies in this game. They die in one hit when you jump on them. This will only happen if you Spin Jump or use Yoshi, Kuribo's Shoe or a Super Star, all of which have been tossed out in favor of realistic weapons.
  9. In the third level, Koopas use weapons and dress like Nazi soldiers.
  10. Question Blocks, Dragon Coins and Flip Blocks do nothing.
  11. If you hold fire while one weapon is active and switch to another while holding fire, you can fire projectiles from multiple weapons at once. As long as you touch the goal post while holding fire, the projectiles stay there for the rest of the game.
  12. The levels are lazily designed because they are literally screenshots of real Super Mario World levels. This can be proved by the unanimated Question Blocks. Due to this, some of the coins that are placed in the levels can't be collected unless you know that the ones which don't spin can't be taken, a thing the game never tells you about.
  13. The game has only three short levels and is too easy
    • Owing to this, the game can be beaten in 3 minutes.
  14. The inappropriate jokes are NOT limited to the title screen. In the second level, which is based on Vanilla Dome from Super Mario World, coins are arranged to spell "POOP". The credits are also guilty of having inappropriate humor.
  15. In said credits, the developer congratulates himself for being an awesome person.
  16. The sprite work is lazy. Rather than using sprites from one Mario game or making sprites that match a given Mario game's sprite style, this game's sprites are edited versions of existing sprites from Super Mario World and Yoshi's Island. The bullets, blood, projectiles, and wrenches are likely drawn in MS Paint, which compounds the lazy sprite work further.
  17. The developer tells how awesome he thinks the game's features are, when in reality, they are actually awful. An example of this is the endgame music that is described as too awesome to be heard, when it really is just a mediocre and off-key rearrangement of Super Mario Bros.' Overworld theme.
  18. Annoying use of internet slang such as LOL and other similar terms.
  19. The music is an assortment of generic rock remixes for various Mario songs you can find on Newgrounds.
  20. The music is also quite loud by default. Happily, there is a volume bar that works.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. This game was probably made as a joke, and it does a good job at being funny.
  2. The weapons are the only part of the game that can be considered "Hardcore".
  3. The music played on the grass levels is cool, a rock remix of the Overworld from Super Mario World (used later in Waluigi Game)

Videos

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