Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys

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Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys
79732 front.jpg
This is terrifying. This isn't Snow White, this is more like evil porcelain dolls come to life. - AVGN
Genre: Mini-game compilation
Platforms: PlayStation 2
Release Date: December 16, 2006
Developer: Aqua Pacific
Publisher: Phoenix Games


Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys is a "video game" published by Phoenix Games and developed by Aqua Pacific and was released in 2006, for the PlayStation 2. It was never released outside of Europe. The animated film was made by the now-defunct Polish company Longsoft Multimedia, which specialized in developing games and low budget animations.

Why It Sucks

  1. It's not really a video game, it's just a compilation of mini-games and a movie.
    • It is a seriously poor port of the Snow White game from the Familijny CD-Romek games.
  2. The mini-games themselves are boring.
  3. Weird and laughable dialogue. For example, the narrator says that Cubby "is like a small bear", Big Basil "was huge - well, for a boy he was huge", and Snow White sings a song that begins with "This is my song/I'll sing it now"
  4. Weird scenes, such as the face on the chimney, Joseph Jr. walking on water, and the extremely anachronistic fact that the characters have access to fully-functioning microphones and disco lights in the time when Snow White takes place.
  5. The song is badly written, as Snow White says "jealous" a total of 6 times (4 in one of the beginning stanzas) and it does a poor job of telling her story. It doesn’t even specify what the Evil Queen is jealous of! (She is jealous of Snow White's looks, but the song's lyrics make no sense and fail to specify it.) It sounds like she made it up and sung it in the shower.
  6. Incomplete story.
  7. Poorly done animation (especially in the musical part, it's so bad that you can notice some parts that were just looped with slight modifications), Not only that, the 2D animated characters are placed a 3D environment, which looks awful and makes the movie part look like it was made in 3D Movie Maker.
  8. The box art is downright terrifying, with AVGN describing the characters as "evil porcelain dolls come to life". which is a false advertisement for 3 reasons:
    • None of the characters look like the Disney bootlegs on the cover, with the biggest example being the 7 Clever Boys (they look like old dwarves in the cover, yet in-game they are ordinary boys).
      • Snow White also is inaccurate as well, her hair is black while she's actually blonde in-game, her lips are normal while puffy in game, and her skin is more pale than in game, and lastly, her in-game dress looks nothing like the dress on the cover beside being a dress or having puffy sleeves
    • The Evil Queen in her hag form is never seen on screen (just her shadow), despite being in the front of the box art.
    • The animation and art style are lies as well. In the box art, the characters are in 3D, but in the game, they are animated in 2D with the backgrounds and surroundings being set in 3D,
  9. The apple is shown bleeding (the "blood" is supposed to be poison), which is rather graphic considering this is a kids game, not to mention that fruit doesn't "bleed" like animals do.
  10. The black clever boy, Sonny, is depicted in blackface and has rather thick red lips.
  11. The game's movie is very short, lasting about six minutes.
  12. Snow White's singing voice sounds like she's bored out of her mind.
    • The same woman sings in the Polish version, where she sounds more enthusiastic.
  13. Of the 4.7 gigabytes available on PS2 discs at the time of release, the entirety of the game only used about 300 megabytes. That's not even a tenth of the available space!

Redeeming Qualities

  1. The narrator’s voice is decent and bareable.
  2. Some effort was put into the graphics though.
  3. The song, despite the laughably bad lyrics, does sound pretty good.

Lyrics of song

(A big thank you goes to Lemon Melon for the lyrics transcription.)

"This is my song, I'll sing it now.

The one of the mirror and the evil queen.

Sparkling mirror, the truth it can see.

Oh say it please, who is more beautiful.

She is so jealous, jealous of me. So very jealous, jealous of me.

Show the miracle of beauty in the lake of your glass.

Her heart's so hard, it won't let me pass.

She has chased me, hunted me. Alone and crying, in forests so dark.

I know that you really care. Let me stay, our lives we can share.

She is so jealous of me, so very jealous of me.

It lives in her evil heart, unlike mine.

She has chased me, hunted me. Alone and crying, in forests so dark.

I know that you really care. Let me stay, our lives we can share."

Videos

Comments


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TC2000

21 months ago
Score 3
What the fuck is that cover?!
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BlazePlastic2003

21 months ago
Score 2
It's terrifing
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BlazePlastic2003

21 months ago
Score 2
I meant to say it's terrifying
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McPootisPingasToons

20 months ago
Score 3
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN CLEVER BOOOOOOYYSS!
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Vicious187

16 months ago
Score 1
I don't know what i rather do watch the entire nightshift nurses series or play this game.
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JustAlex93Mh

16 months ago
Score 1
I'd rather play the PS1 version of Lego Racers than to play this travesty of a game!
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Lg 754 luca

15 months ago
Score 2
BOOTLEGS.
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Bigbad75

15 months ago
Score 2
What is that F***ing name, WHO MADE THIS?????????????
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Grust

15 months ago
Score 2
Phoenix Games. Don't bother doing any research as there is very little information about them.
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SkyBlueYoshi

15 months ago
Score 1
Snow White on the box cover looks like a melting wax model
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I Said A Hip Hop

12 months ago
Score 0

Notice how that one dwarf on the left has NO FUCKING PUPIL

It's just an empty void
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Wadmooddeer

11 months ago
Score 1
For many years it was claimed by many people that this was an original Phoenix Games production (with help from Aqua Pacific) not affiliated to Dingo Pictures, until years later in reality it is a badly ported version of the Snow White game from the Familjny CD-Romek series by Longsoft Multimedia, originally released on PCs in the early 2000s only in Poland. (as least according to TV Tropes on their page of Familjny CD-Romek.) Yes, that's not Phoenix Games & Aqua Pacific's original product.
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Clippy the useless Office assistant

11 months ago
Score 2
I wonder why this masterpiece it's not in the PS Store or the Nintendo eShop yet.
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SpazJR61

11 months ago
Score 3
That's why this game is obscure.
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AgentLocke

5 months ago
Score 1
Mediocre Shovelware Game at best
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LuigiMan050-5

24 days ago
Score 2

"The black clever boy, Sonny, is depicted in blackface and has rather thick red lips."

THAT'S RACIST!
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TeenageBoy08

19 days ago
Score 0
tHiS iS mY sOnG, i'Ll SiNg It NoW!

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