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Porky's

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Porky's
45572 front.jpg
Apparently, Atari hasn't forgot about movie tie-in games with bad controls.
Protagonist(s): Pee-Wee
Platform(s): Atari 2600
ColecoVision (Prototype)
Release: 1983
Developer(s): Dunhill Electronic Media Corp.
Lazer Microsystems Inc.
Publisher(s): 20th Century Fox

Porky's is an Atari 2600/ColecoVision game based on the 1982 teen comedy with the same name.

Plot

Gamers play as Peewee (not Pee Wee Herman or Pee Wee Harris, PeeWee from Porky's) who has been conned out of money by Porky. Now he's out for revenge.

Gameplay

The game has five acts with the first three being repeatable until the conditions are met. Once these conditions are met, you play the fourth act where you must get to the top of a scaffold and avoid Porky. Once you reach the top, the final act has you blow up Porky's, ending the game.

Why It Sucks

  1. Defective controls. In the first area, you must build a ladder to reach the top, but to cross the swamp and reach the top you need to be unbelievably precise right down to the microsecond. If you do the controls right, Peewee can jump across the swamp and hopefully reach the second floor. After that, you need to grab blinking bars to build the ladder.
    • While you won't need to rebuild the ladders, if you fall, Porky will show up and you don't wanna get caught by him.
  2. The second area reaches the locker room from the movie. Players must avoid Miss Balbricker who moves quickly and doesn't need to climb ladders. If she catches you, you'll be heading back to the swamp level. To beat this level, players must drop an item found at the top of the level down to the swamp area. Then players must then climb back to where the item was and reach the next level.
  3. The third area is the county line, and is similar to Frogger, but on acid, in which Peewee must dodge a speedboat hovering dangerously close to the ground, a Police Car, Porky's girls, Attack pigs, Porky's Bouncers, and The Pig Mobile. If he gets hit, it's back to the swamp area. 
  4. As stated in gameplay, the first three areas repeat until you get all the required items down to the swamp area.
  5. The scaffold area is like an invisible maze that changes each time. While the scaffold area doesn't change itself visually, you need to make very specific jumps to find the spot to reach which is unfairly difficult. If you drop down, you can get grabbed by Porky and it's back to the Swamp area.
  6. The final area is just Peewee jumping on a detonator.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. In the end, after all you've been through, you get to blow up the bar.
  2. The graphics and animations are not too bad for Atari 2600 standards, especially Pee Wee Himself, as well as the bar sinking into the ground when you blow it up.
    • It received an Atari 8-Bit Family Port, which is much better graphically.
  3. You can play around with the difficulty switches and make certain parts harder or easier.
  4. if you fall back down into the swamp, you won't need to rebuild the ladders, though you will need to avoid porky

Videos

AVGN Enraged.jpg "What were they thinking?"
The Shit Scale
Games that are debatably bad High level of shit contamination The very high category The severe zone Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Major code red
👆
This game/console belongs to the "Very High Category" category of the AVGN's Shit Scale.

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