Mineirinho Ultra Adventures
Mineirinho Ultra Adventures (also known as Miner Ultra Adventures) is a computer game originally developed by Dennis M. Ferreira in 2010 and rereleased for Steam in 2017. The game stars Mineirinho (a mascot of a Brazilian restaurant) in a strange adventure to an alien station in exchange for nothing. The game is known to be just a very, very badly-made advertisement for the Brazilian backer Dom Zelittu's (the aforementioned restaurant in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) and its creator has become a joke, swearing and deleting negative comments about the game. However, he later explained that it was his ex-girlfriend taking over his laptop and posing as him.
The game has received a snowboarding-like DLC called Hoversurf in the Mess and a SHMUP sequel of sorts in Mineirinho Ultra Shooter. Mineirinho is also playable in Super Lula Escape From Prison.
Why It Sucks
- The game has an awful camera that is angled around 30 degrees left from where Mineirinho is actually facing, making it hard to line up jumps properly, see where you jump, and where enemies are.
- Collision detection and physics are ridiculously bad; Mineirinho slides through the scenery, his hat that he throws can instantly fasten to the wall, and finally, even stopped, if something is moving, it moves inexplicably.
- Mineirinho keeps attaching himself to objects in the game, and even more, strikes the long distance.
- Sadistic level design combined with the awful controls, physics, and camera make the game extremely difficult and near unplayable.
- Levels 3 and 4 can easily be beaten by glitching through the floor and jumping infinitely due to being able to jump on a slanted surface.
- If you die once, you have the start the stage all over again.
- Obnoxious looping music.
- The graphics looked outdated like the game was going to be released for Windows 95. (Even LEGO Island has way better graphics than this abomination, which was released in 1997.) Similarly, the soundtrack is completely made in MIDI, despite the game being released in 2017. In fact, one of its tracks sounds like something out of a DOOM Wad. Its DLC, Hoversurf in the Mess, uses MP3 format along with their opening song in Portuguese.
- On top of that, the music in the menu rips-off "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer and in the first and fourth level rips-off the opening theme from Gilligan's Island.
- Also, the enemies are uninspired, the green monster at the first level looked like a cross between Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc,. and Suezo from the anime Monster Rancher (Monster Farm in Japan).
- This game lacks controller support, only supporting keyboard and mouse.
- Bizarre dialogue, including instant memes such as "Franguinho!" (Diminutive of "Chicken" in Portuguese) and "Pizza maluca!" (Crazy Pizza!)
- It has a throwable pizza weapon and wastes it by making it nigh impossible to hit anything with it.
- Every time Mineirinho gets hit he makes an annoying "ayayayay!" noise.
- Annoying voice acting of Mineirinho, who can give Bubsy a run for his money.
- Awful graphics and shading which makes everything look overly metallic.
- Mineirinho's model is frightening and his walking animation is creepy.
- It's easy to find sections of the levels that are obviously not rendered.
- The game has an incredibly dumb ending, it's only a black screen with Mineirinho cartwheeling on the screen endlessly, followed by a phrase saying "You did it! Now everyone can eat at the best restaurant in the world!" in Portuguese.
- The game's executable appears as a Marvel game, which implies that the game is actually a hack from another game, although it was made in Blender.
- Despite being made in Brazil, the game is full of horrendous Portuguese and full of grammatical errors.
- Idiotic names for levels such as "Super-Slip" and "Mega Mountain" and levels with even more stupid concepts.
- False advertisement. The game description says, without text changes, on Steam:' '"Very cool super Mario 64 style game, many adventures, and exploration in the 3d world, based on great titles that have been very successful: Super Mario 64, Gex, Crash Bandicoot, Conker's Bad Fur Day!!!"
- It directly uses Steam Trading Cards as a selling point. A dead giveaway that this game is shovelware meant for farming cards.
- The developer quoted, "mined reviews to make them seem positive on the Steam store page." One of the quotes is literally Jim Sterling quoting the developer. In other words, the dev is quoting himself.
- Its creator resembles Digital Homicide Studios, banning and cursing negative comments like a child. However, it was later found out that it was (supposedly) actually his ex-girlfriend.
- The game only runs at 1024x768. Not exactly a common screen size or even aspect ratio in 2010, let alone 2017! This issue also occurs in its' sequel, Miner Ultra Shooter.
- Despite the game supposedly promoting a fast food restaurant it barely has anything to do with it.
- Believe it or not, the game actually won a local Blender competition when it was originally released. In 2010. Did the Brazilians of the time have no standards? The version released on Steam is presumably completely unchanged from the original.
- The titular Mess in the Hoversurf in the Mess DLC is the Brazilian political corruption. But all this attempt at satire amounts to is displaying a collage of cartoon parodies stolen from various sources after every level. The music throughout this DLC was stolen from various songs by Brazilian artists.
- The DLC is slightly more playable than the main game, but the level design is still needlessly awkward with sections that require a lot of trial and error. Having a Kaizo-esque end of a level trap at one point with a memey trollface is just uncalled for.
- The food powerups return in the DLC, but they seemingly have no effect other than changing the hoverboard to them.
- The DLC has literally no ending other than yet another collage of newspaper political cartoons..
- Due to how broken and easy to glitch the game is it is a decent option to speedrun assuming you can handle horribly slippery controls.
- The restaurant the game promoted (Dom Zellitu's) was a popular fast food restaurant in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
The game was actually released around 2010 and won the IV Blender Pro competition in the Brazilian state of Ceará that year (he also took second place with something called "Psicodelic Hover" (sic)). In 2011, it also took part in an American competition. However, it was barely documented at all and widely unknown even in Brazil except for long-time Blender users until 2017 due to the brokenness of the game or how the creator behaved towards critics. The former which is why the game is outdated.