Mario Empalado

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Mario Empalado
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Is this game supposed to criticize the game industry or show how terrible can a game be?
Genre: Shooter
Platforms: Microsoft Windows
Release Date: 2012
Developer: Pedro Palva
Publisher: Pedro Palva
Made in: Brazil


Mario Empalado (English: Impaled Mario) is a 2012 protest video game developed and published by the Brazilian user Pedro Palva. According to the creator, the game is "a hate letter to the video game industry and the stupid gamer pseudo-culture".

Gameplay

The game doesn't offer a really wide gameplay. Your only objective is to kill everything in sight to get to the next level, and your targets include Mario from the Super Mario franchise, game developers, parents, and crude stereotypes of the gamer community. It's also worth to mention that some lines in Portuguese will appear at the top of the screen in almost all of the stages, most of them inciting you to kill your objectives or edgy lines complaining about the video games.

Why It Intentionally Sucks

  1. A really bad taste and disturbing nature. The game features you shooting an impaled Mario, famous game developers like Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima, parents gifting video games to their children, performing a massacre at the E3, and even beheading a game reporter with a knife.
  2. The gameplay is extremely boring and repetitive. You can only shoot and move your gun to the sides, the only minor difference is when you use a sniper rifle at the sixth stage, but it's more of the same thing.
  3. No challenge, all of the characters will not try to avoid or stop you. Instead, they will act like if you weren't there.
  4. Since the game runs on HTML5, it's very propense to bug or crash. For instance, sometimes shooting Mario in the first level will only make him to spin around, and you will never get to the next stage.
  5. Some sound effects are so high-pitched and loud that can make your ears bleed in matter of seconds, specially the loading sounds.
  6. The music consists of only short high-pitched loops that will play over and over, until you get to the next stage. And what's worse, some stages even reclycle the same song more than three times.
  7. For some reason, the game reporter that you have to kill in the seventh stage makes a strange gibberish that sounds like a classic circus theme, and of course, it sounds horrible.
  8. The game portrays gamers as if they were brainless slaves that only live for the greedy game developers.
  9. Terrible and confusing ending, when you get to the last stage and kill all of the tied people, the giant fat guy with the crown will tie you immediately, and then you will appear in a small pink room with a roof leak, a computer, a bed and a clock. The real meaning of the ending is still unknown until today, but some people theorize that it can be a metaphor which states that you're not actually playing video games, because someone else is already playing with you.

The Only Redeeming Quality

  1. The graphics are quite appealing to see, as they try to recreate an old ZX Spectrum game.

Legacy

The game was not well known in its time and it was seen as an edgy game made by some alt-right edgelord. However, that wasn't an excuse for Nintendo, which forced the creator to remove its own game, probably because they didn't like how he treated his major character or copyright issues.

Videos

Comments


avatar

Solidnator

2 months ago
Score 0

Guess what is canon now (?

(I Hate myself by returning to this article)
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Aspen Pellot

2 months ago
Score 0
I can make a better hate game that the player has a gun and a knife than this

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