This wiki has been closed following a Request for Comments. Please see this page for more information.

Hard Time

From Crappy Games Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Hard Time
Genre(s): Simulation


Platform(s): PC
Release: PC
January 25, 2007
October 1, 2013
October 11, 2013
Developer(s): MDickie
Publisher(s): MDickie

Hard Time is a prison simulation game developed by MDickie based on the idiom "Hard Time" It was released for Microsoft Windows in 2007 and was later ported to mobile devices in 2013. The player creates and controls a prisoner and must try to survive prison until their prison sentence is over with. Once they leave the prison, the game is over. Your save file is also deleted. However, in the mobile version, they can be free to walk around outside or become a prison warden. Your save file persist until they die.

Why You'll Have a Hard Time Playing This Game

  1. Some of the models are repulsive. Even the various faces used for models are just plain ugly, they look like stock images from Google.
  2. Like all other MDickie PC games, the controls are very bad. This is because all of MDickie's PC games are done on his wrestling engine.
  3. The graphics are abysmal. Despite being released in 2006, it feels like it was released in the PlayStation or Nintendo 64 era.
  4. It has a sanity meter, and if the sanity meter goes down all the way, your character will go insane. Meaning that you will have no control over them for a while. This is extremely annoying to keep up with as you constantly need to sleep, drink, smoke cigarettes, or drink beer (on mobile) to get your sanity back up.
  5. Very easy to die. You can lose all of your health over time and be forced to sleep (which can be really risky in battles and you might die), plus people will constantly fight you, and due to the aforementioned controls, it can be quite hard to defend yourself.
  6. Everyone tries to talk to you. It gets REALLY annoying after a while, especially considering that it takes a long time to progress through the dialogue (unless you skip the dialogue after you read each sentence).
  7. Takes far too long to get your stats up.
  8. Broken wanted system. If someone sees you doing something bad (such as fighting another prisoner) and leaving the room, alarms will go off and wardens will try to arrest you. However, you can never actually tell when the alarms will go off as the wanted system only seems to work when it wants to.
    • And speaking of the broken wanted system, if you stomp on a corpse, even if you didn't kill them, immediately alarms will go off and say that you killed the person. HOW CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY IF THEY WERE ALREADY DEAD WHEN YOU FOUND THEM!?!??!
    • Also, if you grab a dead body and headlock it, the warden will arrest you for raping.
    • You can get arrested for talking too much.
    • However, wardens will ask you to pay $100 (or more) if they're merciful.
  9. There's nothing to do except for fighting other people once you're out of prison.
  10. In the mobile version, you can get arrested for not buying a full version of the game (however, you can use this to avoid more serious sentences like murder, and you'll never get a sentence because of this).
  11. If you play as a warden in the PC version and get arrested, the game will crash, if your lucky it will still be playable as a warden.
  12. After you leave prison in the PC version, you don't get to free roam in a city. The game ends, and if you want to use the trick to become a warden, you have to use the character design option in the menu.
  13. The game deletes you save upon closing the game. It takes two seconds of real-lifetime for a minute to pass the in-game time, the minimum sentence you can receive is 30 days so to unlock the proper ending you are required to continuously play the game for 24 hours., and if you manage to do that you run the risk of getting the extremely common "Error: Memory violation access" which crashes your game and deletes all progress.
  14. The menu full-screen version of Hard Time is not functional on modern hardware, meaning you can only use the windowed version. The windowed version locks your mouse in place on the screen and cannot be hidden.
  15. In the mobile version, the game is in a 2D Perspective. The character sprites are just rendered of the original 3D models from the PC version. But with "higher quality" faces, and hair. Not only are the animations very stiff. But man does it all just look ugly.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. One of the more interesting MDickie games. However quite poorly executed.
  2. It has cheats (in the PC version), which are very easy to access, and there is one cheat that can get your sanity up, so you won't have to worry about your sanity meter.
  3. The mobile version fixes some of these issues and adds tons of new things to the game. Such as game speed options and improved controls.
  4. The strange wrestling engine can often lead to unintentionally funny moments.
  5. If this game had not existed, Joel de Vinesauce would never have created his more famous character called "Bulk Bogan", in fact, this game helped Vinesauce's fame to grow over the years.
  6. The background music is surprisingly catchy.


Loading comments...