China Warrior

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China Warrior (known as The Kung Fu in Japan) is a beat 'em up released on the TurboGrafx-16 in 1989 (1987 in Japan). You take control of Wang, a Bruce Lee-like martial artist who must defeat the Dark Emperor and restore peace to China. Here is a joke reversed version of this article.

Why it Sucks

  1. While the sprites are decent-looking and detailed, they animate stiffly.
  2. The same music plays throughout every level.
  3. Boring levels that consist of nothing but walking right constantly while fighting lame enemies such as twigs, butterflies, and monks that do nothing but walk forward.
  4. Stiff controls. You can't punch while jumping or kick while crouching, even though you could in Kung-Fu. Secret moves require strict timing to pull off.
  5. Constantly recycled bosses that are annoying to fight due to their aggressive blocking AI.
  6. The Dark Emperor himself looks nothing like an emperor and more like a ripoff of Beggar So, the Drunken Master.