CSI: Miami

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A poor game based on a hit TV show...

CSI: Miami is a first-person point-and-click adventure game based on the the police procedural drama of the same name.

Why It Sucks

  1. Uneven graphics (which look dated in some places) and character animation. Games that were released beforehand like Luigi’s Mansion, Super Mario Sunshine, Star Fox Adventures, the Jak and Daxter series, Mario Party 4, and Wave Race: Blue Storm look much better.
  2. The game characters are equally uneven in style. For example, Horatio Caine's game counterpart seems more like a caricature than a well-rendered model and was thus poorly done. In contrast, Super Smash Bros. Melee and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3, both of which were released three years prior, have much better looking character models.
  3. Closely packed hot spots leads to pixel hunting nightmares.
  4. Poor in-game logic pathways.
  5. Mostly bland voice acting despite featuring the actors from the show, none of whom seem to be particularly interested in what they're doing in the game. Fortunately, they don’t speak all that often, and it’s something you can weed your way past.
  6. Incredibly easy game and linear, even with all the helpers turned off.
  7. Mysteries that simply don't engage you all that well.
  8. Game structure can sometimes get ahead of or behind itself.
  9. Roughly five hours long.
  10. Boring cases with too few locations and suspects
  11. Dull, oversimplified and repetitive gameplay
  12. Substandard character art
  13. Larger storyline feels forced and is completely telegraphed early on
  14. The lip synching at times of the 3D characters isn't great and there isn't exactly a ton of animation.
  15. The level of interaction is limited which is really painful.
  16. You can use the hint system, but your partners have a propensity towards being extremely vague.
  17. The FMV cinematics are used as a visual transition when traveling from one place to another in the game. This is kind of nice except when it turns bizarre, like when you go to an estate resident’s bedroom and get a boat shot leaping across Biscayne Bay as a transition screen and it's never explained exactly how far apart the bedrooms are.
  18. You have to follow strict procedures which don't seem to apply to the AI.
  19. For the most part, your sense of freedom is limited to that of an onlooker. Although you can screw up, you can't take the bull by the horns and play a hunch. You will be told when you can progress.
  20. If you don't collect the evidence that the CPU declares relevant, you will have to go back and find it. Why some evidence is deemed important seems arbitrary. It's never properly explained so regardless of how intellectual and analytical you try to get you can never properly excel in your craft.
  21. At times the CPU gets confused. Things will be mentioned before they happen and things that have already happened will be repeated. Since you're always looking at the CPU for advice and direction, it's hard to place any faith in it when it's so inconsistent.
  22. The internal logic of how the game recognizes gameplay events is simply not very flexible. You will spend a lot of time comparing fingerprints, DNA samples, footprints, bullets and other items on the lab’s computer and microscopy devices. Now it would seem logical that if fingerprint A, B and C all belong to the same person, then after showing that fingerprint A belongs to the same person as prints B and C, the game would know that prints B and C also have to be from the same person and add this information automatically to your in-game database. It doesn’t happen. You have to cross-compare the same items over and over again in different orders and it gets old fast--very fast. It is easy with all the items being picked up, tagged and bagged to miss one of these critical comparisons and get stuck for a long while.