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Bloody Boobs

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― Todd Howard
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Bloody Boobs
Bloody Boobs.jpg
"Self-awareness doesn't mean jack shit when your game is jack shit."
DX
Genre(s): Action-adventure
Platform(s): Microsoft Windows
Release: January 20, 2017
Engine: Unity
Developer(s): Eduard Bulashov
Publisher(s): Dagestan Technology
Country: Russia


Bloody Boobs is an action-adventure game developed by Eduard Bulashov and published by Dagestan Technology.

Why It’s Bloody Dooms

  1. Game AI is horribly broken, with the demon who chases you through the dungeons either losing you if you go about 15 feet away or, in some cases, will stand in place and swing at the air.
  2. The game is a clear exercise in using Unity Store assets with little editing and suturing it together with some code that semi-randomly arranges the dungeons to give the illusion of depth, though the size of the dungeons is usually small enough the player can figure out how to progress based on how bland and simple the set pieces are.
  3. The horror aspect is rendered moot because of an annoying sarcastic English voice in the background that mocks the player, the demons look so silly that it is hard to be scared by them, and the player looks like they escaped a porn movie.
  4. The game is so dark it's hard to see anything even at max brightness, and the film grain filter just makes things harder to see unless it's disabled.
  5. Mouse camera controls are prone to seizing up, especially if you have a mouse wheel, which the game poorly detects.
  6. False advertising: The blood effects look so terrible it's like red dye was photoshopped on the player body, and the boobs, while present, are always covered, even though the developer has stated that you are supposed to be naked.
  7. Random CTDs and crashes can occur for certain users for unknown reasons.
  8. The narrator of the game is terrible, as he will chastise the player for buying this game when you could've supported charity, which is pretty ironic coming from the developer, who thought it'd be funny to make a game where the punchline is breasts.

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