Pinocchio (2006)

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"Oh, no! I'm turning Donkey!"
Genre: Mini-game collection
Platforms: PlayStation 2
Nintendo Wii
Nintendo DS
Release Date: PlayStation 2
EU: December 8, 2006
AU: May 18, 2007

Nintendo Wii
EU: May 8, 2009
Nintendo DS
EU: 2009
Developer: Aqua Pacific
Publisher: Phoenix Games

Pinocchio is a "video game" based on the popular fairy tale of the same name. It features a short cartoon that tells the tale of Pinocchio and his many adventures. Developed by Aqua Pacific and published by Phoenix Games. It was released on December 8, 2006 (a week before Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys) for the PlayStation 2 only in Europe and Australia. It was ported for the Nintendo Wii on May 8, 2009, and for the Nintendo DS in the same year as Adventures of Pinocchio only in Europe. The animated film was made by the now-defunct Polish company Longsoft Multimedia, which specialized in developing games and short budget animations.

Like other games made by Phoenix, it consists of a poorly made cartoon movie along with a compilation of basic minigames.

Why It Sucks

  1. Awful animation. Similar to Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys, it has a combination of two types of animation: ugly two-dimensional and absolutely horrible three-dimensional animation. The worst example of the animation is when Pinocchio meets the fox and cat since this fox's eye is wonky throughout the whole scene.
  2. The title screen is something else.
  3. The film decides to "keep" the scene where Pinocchio is hanged from Carlo Collodi's original book which was not included in the Disney movie for obvious reasons. The only difference is that he's hung up by his overalls and not a noose.
  4. At these minutes and forty-one seconds, a shot of the theater director's legs are shown and his groin has a giant bulge.
    • What makes it even worse (or funnier, depending on your view) is the line that precedes this shot - 'The Director appeared in the theatre! He was so huge and fierce!'
  5. Horrendous voice acting. The narrator (the same one from Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys) voices literally every character with the same voice. The worst and most infamous example of this is the Blue Fairy, who is a female. The toys in the songs are also poorly voiced and sound more like a ghost girl than a child.
  6. Dreadful writing and it's easy to find points that English was not the developers' first language.
    • This is further enforced by the fact that a poster in the movie is written in Polish.
  7. False advertising for several reasons:
    • On the cover, the characters are shown in low-budget 3D but are 2D in-game.
    • The characters look nothing like the Disney bootlegs on the cover.
    • The talking cricket doesn't show up at any point during the movie.
  8. Awkward character moments; one example is the way Pinocchio introduces himself: "Okay, girls and boys!"
  9. The movie is very short, lasting just under eight minutes.
  10. Many plot elements without much sense to them. For instance, when Pinocchio goes to the theatre, the puppets there recognize him, even though it's his first time out.
  11. The second half of the story (from Pleasure Island to the ending) is rushed and summed up in an awful song that lasts less than a minute and fails miserably at telling the story because the lyrics make no sense. (video below, watch and listen at own discretion.)
  12. The mini-games themselves are boring and dull.
  13. There's a rather notorious error where the narrator says "three nasty criminals" but only two are shown.
  14. Laughable dialogue, most notably "Oh lovely theater music, but I must go to school." where the inflections and butchered and "take pity on me excellency, what will happen to my daddy? Mercy!"
  15. "Oh no! I'm turning donkey!"
  16. Monstro is depicted as a shark and not a whale.

The Only Redeeming Quality

  1. The film, like other Phoenix Games film-games, when viewed in the right frame of mind (i.e. ironically with friends), it can be extremely funny.




Grammar guy

2 months ago
Score 0
oH No! i'M tuRnInG DoNkeY!


2 months ago
Score 0
Nightmare fuel!


9 days ago
Score 0
The game that's not even a game

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