Ambulance Simulator 2011

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Ambulance Simulator 2011
Ambulance-Simulator-2011.jpg
Call 112, if anyone is playing this abomination!
Genre: Simulation
Mini-game Collection
Platforms: Microsoft Windows
Release Date: June 30, 2011
Developer: UIG Entertainment
Publisher: UIG Entertainment
Made in: Germany


Ambulance Simulator 2011 is a simulation video game developed and published by UIG Entertainment (the same developer behind one of the lowest-rated Steam games, Airport Simulator 2014) for Microsoft Windows only in Europe.

Gameplay

The game presents the work of an ambulance crew, which has to deal with the effects of road accidents and various other life-threatening events every day.

The action of the game is set in a virtual metropolis, the inhabitants of which constantly undergo more or less serious incidents and need quick medical attention.[1]

Why It Sucks

  1. The cover of the game is an unusual muff that was done awfully cheap. It looks more like a fanart done by an average person with little art experience, with a pasted image of an actual van.
  2. Speaking of the cover art, in the back cover, at least in the Polish version, contains a few typos:
    • "Masz na swojej głowie wszystkie działania pogotowia wxmieście (w mieście)." (ENG: "You have all the ambulance activities in thexcity (the city) on your head.");
    • "Czasem dochodzi jednak do poważnych wypadków zxudziałem (z udziałem) wielu pojazdów lub wielkich maszyn." (ENG: "But sometimes there are serious accidents invxolving (involving) multiple vehicles or large machines."
  3. The main menu in all aspects looks extremely bad. It looks like, if it was made by a first grader, using the GIMP program, while learning the computer science.
    • The game first offers a wrong game title with a hideous logo that looks like it was created on the cooltext.com website.
      • PL: "Karetki Symulator" (On the cover, the title is Symulator Karetki Pogotowia, which means in English Ambulance Simulator) - In Poland it is a spelling error. In English it would be "Ambulance's Simulator", which it doesn't make sense.
      • ENG: "Emergency Doctor".
    • Next to the terrible-looking logo, there is a cheaply-done ambulance model followed by a fuzzy blur taken from parts of this vehicle.
    • The game offers six marbles to broadcast as options. None of the six options offer settings, which is a shame and a disgrace for a 2011 game. What's the funniest thing, in the Polish version, the word "KONIEC" (THE END) is marked with all capital letters, which gives the impression that even the distributors were aware of how poor quality of the game is.
    • Not to mention these backgrounds as rendered hospitals, labs, and realistic displays of blood cells in the body that look like they were made by a left-handed man using the right hand.
    • In addition, you don't hear any track in the main menu.
  4. The graphics are so abysmal that it quickly causes crying and severe pain in the eyes. The game was released in 2011, although it looks more like a launch Nintendo 64 game, at least in 1996. The textures are of the quality of a postage stamp flooded with sulfuric juice (especially the texture appearing outside the hospital), the ambulance model resembles a colorful matchbox with wheels and sirens attached, the character models look like dolls smeared with petroleum jelly, the trees are flat sprites (and when you get closer, they go back to the three-dimensional models), incredibly blurry draw distance, ending up with nausea-making special effects.
  5. Audio is shocking with its monolith of hopelessness per kilometer.
    • As previously mentioned in #3 pointer about the main menu, you won't hear a given track, even in gameplay.
    • The sirens noises are so obnoxious that they are causing immediately disconnect headphones or speakers and throwing them out the window.
    • Like in Midnight Race Club: Supercharged!, the sounds of hitting whatever is exactly the same, and it's quickly causing an ear-raping, due to its loudness.
    • Cringe-worthy sound effects that appear during the mini-games (which have been mentioned in #6 pointer).
    • Ending on people who show up during the accident say nothing, they are not reacting, only standing like a tree or a pillar of salt.
  6. The way you save one victim of an accident, these are not quick time events, nor do you use special tools that need to be tailored to each case, nor will you get a realistic CPR sequence where steadily searching for a rhythm will be decisive, and nor you will get a series of tests that will be faithful to the facts and at the same time will increase the level of adrenaline. What the game offers are mini-games that poorly stimulate the rescue of a given victim. The mini-games mainly consist of pushing the keys (mainly A and S keys) that the game tells you to perform at the moment. The worst part of it is that during the stiff clicking, the game barely reacts to whether you have performed an action. However, the most absurd in all of this at the time of rescue is the execution of the puzzle and quiz. It's a bit as if real doctors suddenly want to play checkers and Millionaire out of boredom before the patients are saved.
  7. Awful and unbearable vehicle controls. The ambulance barely reacts to turns and brakes. When trying to accelerate, this vehicle continues to drive slowly with great difficulty, although for some reason it will even reach 120km/h.
  8. Horrible and illogical physics. The vehicle you are steering suddenly jumps as high as a kangaroo when it jumps between the sidewalk and the road or when it hits a small hill next to it. But when the van is driving with great impetus into the grass, it suddenly starts to freeze on the spot until you go backwards.
  9. The open world the game offers is incredibly poor. There are hardly any citizens (except in the case of the accident), the buildings look almost the same, and the world in general has no details, as was sometimes the case in the Farming Simulator franchise.
  10. Fatal optimization. The game sometimes runs at less than twenty frames per second.
  11. As befits simulators, the game does not have a tutorial, so younger users may initially struggle to understand the game.

Reception

The game received extremely negative reviews, both from critics and players alike. On Gry-Online/Gamepressure, the game received an average score of 2.9/10 (very bad).[2]

French website Jeuxvideo gave an 1/20, which is the lowest possible score from their rating system. In conclusion, they said: "Ambulance Simulator 2011 promises you a unique and unforgettable experience: not only does the game look like nothing and pretends to offer the most soporific gameplay, but it is also simply unplayable. Progress bugs will indeed prevent you from completing the first mission and you will remain stuck before you have even been able to rescue anyone."[3]

Polish website SwiatGry, similiary like Jeuxvideo, they also gave the lowest possible score from the rating system. Krzysztof "JackReno" Lewandowski gave a 0.5/10, criticizing the graphics, the vehicle controls, the mini-games he considered pathetic, that the game didn't simulate anything, and "completely unplayable gameplay as attractive as the endless run to the right after jumping a flag in Super Mario."[4]

BartekGM in the 100th episode of Najgorsze Gry Wszechczasów (Worst Games of All Time) series, said that it is "the worst abomination signed with the name Simulator that has ever contaminated gaming platforms."[5]

Videos

Comments


avatar

ThePCGamer

3 months ago
Score 1
Thank god this shitfest was not made in my country, but still, it was RELEASED in my country, which is Poland
avatar

Allistayrian

3 months ago
Score 1
KARETKI SYMULATOR.
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Fortdicted

one month ago
Score 2
As you guys may know, there are a bunch of very, very, VERY good games released in 2011. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM!

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