Blog:Fa3455801 - Top 9 Worst Games I Ever Played

User:Fa3455801:Top 9 Worst Games He Ever Played redirects here.

Hello, and welcome to the page for my top 9 list of the worst games I have ever played. Why Top 9? Because (to quote the Rap Critic) I‘d like to go one step below in honor to the subpar underachieving games that will be listed. Without further ado, let‘s get into the list.

Note that this page will receive plenty of updates.

9. Rise of the Robots
Yep. It is that bad. Just kick your opponent to death while he/she tries in vain to fight back. It‘s also very hard, even on the easiest difficulty. Or at least that‘s how things are in the SNES version.

But then again, considering the other versions of the game are also crappy... also, did I happen to mention that this game has an arcade port that (thankfully) was never released?

8. Elite Forces: WWII Normandy
This game is so bad, I stopped playing at the third level and instantly uninstalled the game and permanently deleted its ISO. The AI is just as bad as what is shown on Angry Joe‘s MindJack review, the soundtrack is poor, and the gameplay can be summed up as a poor man‘s Medal of Honor. Good news: I lost the CD for the game, so there.

7. Kileak: The Blood + Robotica
Decided to mix these two games because they are practically the same game: a repetitive and boring mecha first-person shooter with lazy level design. As much as I like mecha anime/games, namely Gundam, Evangelion, Zone of the Enders (which BTW is produced by Hideo Kojima and is inspired by the first two), Virtual-On, and Shogo: Mobile Armor Division, these two games are quiet possibly the worst mecha-related things I‘ve ever experienced... and then I found out about Heavy Nova (see below).

First of all, both games feel like a poor and monotonous version of Wolfenstein 3D, second, both games keep reusing the exact same enemies and environment over and over again. Third, the plot is either generic, or makes no bloody sense.

In Robotica, you‘re a rebel trying to destroy a space station that is keeping world peace for thousands of years, and whose owners decided to become stereotypical evil overlords.

In Kileak, I think it‘s about some sort of biological experiment and a scientist or something... I just don‘t get it. Thank God the spiritual sequels, Epidemic and Brahma Force are 10x better.

I‘d also like to thank Him because I dodged a bullet by not playing Tsunami 2265. Unfortunately...

6. Heavy Nova
The only good thing about this game: its soundtrack. Even more so if you played the Japan-only Sega Mega-CD version. Both the Mega Drive/Genesis and the Mega-CD versions have the same flaws.

To elaborate: Broken hit detection (turning on your jetpack/thruster/jumping pretty much turns your mecha invincible), dull platforming sections with overly small enemy mecha (tiny when compared to the Ball or the Mobile Worker from Gundam), delayed controls, silly mecha names (Heavy DOLLs... really guys?), ugly graphics that are outdated even by those console’s standards, a crappy story I don’t give a fuck about with a backstory that is FAR more interesting (and thankfully explored on its much better but still crappy sequel), being made by Robotica’s developers... the list goes on!

5. C: The Contra Adventure
Appaloosa Interactive. The company that gave us Ecco the Dolphin, Tiny Tank, as well as some games based on The Lost World: Jurassic Park... was also the same company that made two rather disappointing Contra games. While I thought the first one, Legacy of War, is a decent run and gun game that shouldn’t be a Contra title at all, this one I abso-fucking-lutely hate.

Why is that? Well, the game commits an extremely heinous crimes: by lying and tricking you into thinking that the game will be an attempt to return to form to the older Contra games, just with 3D graphics. But then the second level kicks in and I realize that the entire game is really just a crappy action-adventure third-person shooter. Mix this with seriously God-awful voice acting, piss-poor sound effects, and a terrible soundtrack that has the exact same pitch, and you have a recipe for disaster, and an example of how NOT to make a Contra game. Thank God for Shattered Soldier.

4. Spirit of Speed 1937
So... boring... everything feels so slippery and slow. Do not play with any emulators because they‘ll either crash or slow itself down to... 1 frame per second.

Though from what I‘ve seen the PC version is actually pretty decent.

3. Hidden & Dangerous (PS1)
This... abomination is, in my opinion, the worst PC-to-console port ever! Wanna know why? I’ll keep it short: stiff controls, cheap AI, poor graphics, and absolutely horrible sound design.

Go play the legally-available-for-free PC version instead. It’s a 100 times better.

2. Lone Soldier
Quiet possibly the worst run and gun game I‘ve ever played, even more so than Contra Adventure (see above). Why, you may ask? A camera that for some reason is placed right behind your character, and the fact that the overall gameplay feels stiff, buggy, boring, and drown-out. And there‘s no music either. I‘d also like to point out that the Japanese version is a super-lazy localization. Everything‘s still in English. The only trace of Japanese? A dub at the opening and the ending.

1. Cosmic Race
Why, dear God, why? Why does this thing exist? Everything about this game is bad and wrong. The controls, the stages, the soundtrack, the graphics, the character designs... I just don‘t understand. It‘s as if the developers were going out of their way to make the worst game possible. And congratulations... you did it. Big Rigs got nothin‘ on this. Hell, Big Rigs is a masterpiece when compared to this!