Spear of Destiny the Kaiseki

"You know what? I think we found the Tommy Wiseau of video games. Pretentious titles, useless writing, bad acting, objectively terrible production, and with a million credits all going to the same person. Gilson B. Pontes is the Tommy Wiseau of the PS4."

- Caddicarus

Spear of Destiny the Kaiseki (commonly known as Spear of Destiny) is a hack and slash game developed by Gilson B. Pontes and published by LGS Productions, a publishing division of Lightning Game Studios. It was released as a mh:awesomegames:PlayStation 4 exclusive on April 18, 2017.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Horrendously ugly graphics that make it impossible to see the enemies.
 * 2) The combat is incredibly slow, sluggish and unbalanced.
 * 3) * The enemies can effortlessly take out huge portions of your health, while you can barely scratch them. You can't reliably dodge (due to the sluggish animations and delayed controls) or block attacks either; in the latter case, the block barely seems to do anything.
 * 4) ** While the block barely does anything, the dodge roll makes you invulnerable thanks to invincibility frames, making the combat feel inconsistent.
 * 5) * The enemies appear to be able to mirror your button presses. However, if you hold down the attack button, the enemies won't react at all, allowing you to wail on them until they die.
 * 6) ** The first five enemies are defeated very easily with this strategy. On the other hand, the sixth enemy is generally considered to be unbeatable through legitimate means, as it kills you instantly and barely takes any damage.
 * 7) The player character's armor looks like as if it was attacked by black mold.
 * 8) The water in the game doesn't look and feel like real water. In fact, it is so badly programmed that you can actually walk on it!
 * 9) The game is filled with TONS of glitches!
 * 10) Whenever there is a nearby enemy, a ring of poisonous blood-red mist will form around your player character and it and will only disappear once you defeat the enemy.
 * 11) The only story that you'll get is an opening narrative written in capital letters and poor English and read out loud by a bizarrely-edited text-to-speech voice.
 * 12) The only thing you'll be doing throughout the entire game is travel to Point A, collect Relic A, kill Enemy A, and that's it! It repeats all the way throughout, turning the game into a boring grind fest; there are no collectible items, enemies to fight or sidequests.
 * 13) No checkpoints at all, meaning if you die, you have to start all over again from the beginning of the level you're on!
 * 14) Choppy frame rate.
 * 15) The game's resolution is eternally stuck in a pseudo-letterbox format, which is unchangeable.
 * 16) Combos can be performed with just one button, and it has a longer input delay than normal light attacks.
 * 17) The health bar frequently goes to zero when your character is in full health and the only way to fix it is to get attacked repeatedly while dodge rolling.
 * 18) The large number of random invisible walls.
 * 19) No unlockable powerups, healing items, weapons, or armor whatsoever, meaning if you have 50% health left after defeating an enemy, you'll be stuck like that throughout.
 * 20) The game is nothing but a blatant attempt at imitating Dark Souls, making it a rip-off.
 * 21) Every single level in the game is the exact same map, with the only difference being the time of the day.
 * 22) A lot of the game's assets are stolen from other games, making it an asset flip.
 * 23) The game is so bad that Sony is forced to remove its trailer from its official YouTube channel and the game itself from the PSN Store.
 * 24) Speaking of the trailer, the gameplay is non-existent, with Redditor Zschaus1 mentioning its resemblance to an AFK player taking a shit in his nearby toilet.
 * 25) The game costs US$17 at launch!

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) You can save the game at any time.
 * 2) A surprisingly good wet mechanic for the camera; if you look at your character underwater and go back to the surface, water will bead off of the lens.

Videos
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