MIB: Alien Crisis

MIB: Alien Crisis (also known as Men in Black: Alien Crisis) is an on-rails third-person shooter video game released in 2012 for the mh:awesomegames:PlayStation 3, mh:awesomegames:Wii, and mh:awesomegames:Xbox 360. The game is partially based on the Men in Black 3 movie. It was developed by Fun Labs and published by Activision.

The mh:awesomegames:Nintendo 3DS version was also planned, but for unknown reasons it was cancelled.

Plot
Peter Delacoeur (Agent P), a MIB Agent in training, assigned to unearth enemy aliens who are planning to destroy planet Earth. With hidden surveillance and stealthy guards on the prowl, you must ambush confidential alien intelligence and stop all alien attacks.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The main problem of this production is that the gameplay is extremely boring and outdated, which in 2012 is unacceptable, and could even delight at most in the late 90s of 20th century. It suffers the same problem as the Rambo game two years later, as is not a standard third-person shooter for the time of its release, but an on rail shooter, including shooting, vehicle, and stealth missions.
 * 2) * As mentioned before, the gameplay concept is focused on the rail shooter genre, so the game almost limits you to standing still, until you kill all nearby enemies, then you can move ahead (only by scripts, not controlling by you), at least about shooting missions.
 * 3) * The vehicle missions look like you are playing an extremely old arcade machine game. Your duty in vehicle missions is that you only need to fire the laser (that fires from the vehicle) at enemies. What's worse, in the case of steering the car, you can only turn left and right along a straight road and tuning (but only by the car's scripts, not when you are doing it yourself). The last thing worth mentioning about such missions is you have to go through the penetrable gates, as was the case with Superman 64 passing through the rings.
 * 4) * The gameplay in detective missions is almost non-existent. These types of missions restrict you from traversing a given area by detecting suspects or ordinary people by your controller. What's worst of all, the character moves extremely slowly, which makes the game more and more boring.
 * 5) * The stealth missions are soulless, limited to shooting at the camera and enemies with a special gun that shoots bubbles, plus the number of levels is extremely low in comparision to levels with other types of gameplay.
 * 6) The game cover looks mediocre, cheap, and shows that you are dealing with a low-quality game that only aims to sell well by naive people who have no idea what is right or wrong. What the cover shows are ugly enemies models that look like they escaped from a cheap CGI movie, an agent holding a gun that doesn't look the same, as from the gameplay (thus causing the false advertising), next to a well-known dog, Frank, accompanying main agents, or the tunnel itself that looks like it never ends.
 * 7) The controls of the main character are extremely limited. In shooting, stealth, and vehicle missions, you can only control with one of the two coordinate graphs (on the x angle). However, this is not the biggest problem of this game, but the most problematic thing is the shooting itself, which is imprecise, even for a game in which you control a pad or Wiimote.
 * 8) * Returning to the controls, in detective missions, the protagonist moves quite strangely, which sometimes happens as if he cannot walk, but stand still by moving his legs.
 * 9) The graphic artistry offered by the game is on an embarrassing level, and it is worth mentioning again that this is a game from 2012, but it looks more like a game from the early 2000s. First, it must be mentioned that the cutscenes made on the game engine look extremely terrible, comparable to a school project from the late 90s. The textures are of poor quality and look like they were taken from the days of mh:awesomegames:PlayStation 2. The character models resemble colorized wooden puppets in a theater. And the special effects that cause epilepsy and gagging.
 * 10) The game is completely devoid of famous characters, such as James Darrell "Jay" Edwards III (Agent J) and Kevin "Kay" Brown (Agent K), making the product soulless compared to the original source material, but replaced with a completely new agent that has never appeared in the movies, even in the third installment, which the game was partly based on, which is Peter Delacoeur (Agent P). There is nothing wrong with introducing a new character, but the problem is that he is bland and forgotten in comparison to the main agents.
 * 11) The shooting itself is terrible but also boring. As previously mentioned, the gun control is clunky, but that's not the only problem in this aspect. Also a weakness is the embarassing number of weapons, offering only the one weapon, although in some missions causing different effects than just shooting with lasers.
 * 12) The plot is not particularly revealing, which is even worse than in the weakest installment of this series, not to mention poor dialogues. In short, the scenario is limited to the fact that the aliens want to destroy the planet, and this novice is tasked with stopping them.
 * 13) There is absolute chaos in the game, not in a positive sense, but in one that causes epilepsy and dizziness. There is a spinning camera as if it had been controlled by a drunk and blind man. Flashing inscriptions, slowdowns and accelerations also disturb the gameplay, making it difficult in all aspects.
 * 14) There can be a strange situation in vehicle missions. Your vehicle decides when to turn and change perspective, and you can't shoot too often, due to civilians who have no right to see in the normal world what is at the moment.
 * 15) Weak and unrealistic physics which is most often seen during an accidental collision with a stationary vehicle in vehicle missions.
 * 16) Collision detection can be incorrect, just like with physics, when crashing a random vehicle, which your car causes to pass through another after a while.
 * 17) Non-existent artificial intelligence, and even replaced by hopeless scripts that are extremely ineptly written.
 * 18) * Agents in stealth missions have no idea where they are going, and they almost stand like a pillar of salt.
 * 19) * However, there are aliens who are more dominant in terms of absolute idiocy. Aliens hardly react to the fact that you are next to them, even very close, and when they noticed you as you left the pillar, they still do not react to you and make almost no action. You can do this for few days just to slip out and hide behind a pillar each time, aliens will forget about you and so back. Also, there are times when you shoot one of the aliens, the other one absolutely does not pay attention to it and does not care what you have done.
 * 20) The soundtrack is completely neuter, forgotten, and it sometimes causes ear-bleeding.
 * 21) Extremely bad voice acting that can be compared to school nativity plays. Most of the actors playing the role probably were fully aware of the low quality of production, so it looks as if they did not want to make this correct. The only actor who properly applied this aspect was the actor playing the role of Frank the Pug who also accompanies the films.
 * 22) Terrible, tedious, and repetitive boss fights. It turns out that bosses are practically ordinary enemies, with only a large health bar, being almost standing and barely performing the action.
 * 23) The game costs $60 on release, which is outright unacceptable, especially as the product is outdated and cheap to produce in all respects. What's worse, the game can be completed in a few hours, it turns out that you are dealing with the most ordinary scam.
 * 24) The game has no subtitles during cutscenes. Players who do not speak English in their home country would have a little difficulty understanding what they say.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The main menu looks pretty cool, giving it a sci-fi feel, especially the Men in Black series.
 * 2) The sound effects are correct and they map the sounds well.

Critical reception
MIB: Alien Crisis received very negative reviews by both critics and players alike. Mostly the complaints concerned gameplay, story and graphics.

Eurogamer's Christian Donlan gave for the PlayStation 3 version a 2/10, saying "Men in Black: Alien Crisis is spectacularly miserable licensed fare - a tie-in game that recalls the bad old days when a movie title was leased out to some mom-and-pop developer in the middle of Siberia and put together with the help of a broken woollen loom and old chopsticks. The thing about most bad games is that they're easy to love because, deep down, they really want to be good games."

GamingXP gave for Alien Crisis a 30/100, summarising "Men in Black: Alien Crisis does exactly everything wrong. The story, the graphics, the sound, the gameplay – everything is crap. It's another good example how a licensed game should not be."

The reception by users was also not favorable, as evidently shown by the Metacritic's average user rating of 2.0/10 on the Xbox 360 version, and a 3.3/10 on the PlayStation 3 version.

Videos
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