Blog:Stupidity from the Planet Earth Ep. 06

Welcome to the sixth episode of Stupidity from the Planet Earth. This is where we take a look at various ridiculous events taking place in the video game industry and more.

Ion Folly


According to my retro game fan colleague Stephen, Ion Fury shows a lot of promise. Retro gameplay loyal to its source combined with excellently made sprites, what more could you ask for?! The people from KotakuInAction agreed, some people even encouraging people to support the game further because the developer seems to be quite “anti-SJW”, I’m not sure what he said originally, but it was something in line with “trans parents should not decide their children’s sex after birth and mutilate their genitals”.

Well, guess what? We’ve been celebrating too early AGAIN! Turns out having a gutsy dev is useless when the publisher is a spineless wimp! Not only have they cave in to the ravings of REEEEEsetERA and GameRevolution and apologized for the dev’s “transphobic” comments (Excuse me, WHAT?! You can decide a kid is trans at birth but cannot decide if it’s cis?), but also promised a censorship patch to tone down the more “offensive” aspects of the game!

Now, bending the knee to the NPC mob will only get you mocked and turn away some of the more politically active gamers (which again is a minority as we’re only trying to have fun here), but butchering your own game? Congrats! You’ve just killed the gaming community’s interest!

Needless to say, the review bombs are already starting to drop, those who have already purchased the game began to change their reviews from positive to negative, sending the game tumbling off the popularity charts. I actually had trouble finding where it is.

Those who haven’t started to post rant articles on the game’s Steam forums. The Steam moderators at first made an effort to hide these “reviews”, while technically this act can be somewhat justified as these rant threads are “off-topic”, but shutting these angry gamers down will defiantly not quell the outrage or kill off the drama. Sure enough, the front page of the forum was full of complaints and the Steam mods either fell asleep or simply gave up.

Most royally pissed of them all, however, is Mark-IV, the developer of the Brutal Doom mod, you can read his post here:

“''I really supported this game. I really wanted you to succeed. After all the garbage you all have been through, the #$@% with Pitchford and Gearbox, the Bombshell fiasco, the @%^# with Iron Maiden, you guys deserved to win at least once. I know some of you, I talked to Fred on the ROTT days, one of your spriters (formley [sic] known as Mike12) helped me back in the early days of Brutal Doom development, I know you are all nice people and I hope you can all do well, but I simply can't get behind this. It's infuriating. I'm sorry guys.''”

When are these creators are supposed to realize that if they want to pander, pander to the people who actually gave a damn about their game? WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?!

Update: finally some good news.

Even More High Impact Censorship
Besides Germany and China, the country that loves to censor and ban games the most (as far as I can recall) is Australia. So far we have DayZ, Omega Labyrinth Z, We Happy Few, Hotline Miami… and the list just goes on and on. I simply cannot comprehend why the Aussies’ government censor so much, especially when many of these games are already rated M for Mature. Why treat fully grown adults like little kids who cannot tell apart right or wrong?!

The most recent game that has fallen to Australia’s censorship policy is Warhorse Studio’s Kingdom Come: Deliverance—the complete opposite of Ion Fury on the “apology” chart, whose new DLC I covered a few episodes ago. Apparently this DLC is the reason it got banned. The exact reason given is “High impact sex scenes & references to sexual violence”.

Seriously, what the hell is a “HIGH IMPACT” sexual scene? Did they thrusted so hard they literally made a crater or something? Seriously, they only people who will be “impacted” by sex scenes are kids! (I remember that one time in middle school when my classmates played Underworld: Evolution during lunch break, we all covered our faces in embarrassment when the scene where Selene and Michael had sex played. Sigh, the lawless days in China.) But then Kingdom Come wasn’t even intended for kids anyway! It depicts a much less civilized era, and even adults have trouble passing the fricking TUTORIAL.

Our old friend, Daniel Vávra, is being as snarky as ever:

“''I feel young again! Last time I experienced censorship was during my childhood in a communist country. #GoodOldTimes #ThoughtPolice I guess I should not visit Australia in order not to be arrested for my crimes - which is having a lead female char attacked by enemies in a game.''”

But, what can I say, it’s a little too late to ban it now, right? Command & Conquer: Generals was banned back in my place, and I played it nonetheless.

Welcome to Genderland


Remember the good old days when Borderlands was about finding all kinds of fancy guns and testing them out on evil corporate mercenaries and profanity spouting midgets riding on top of Goliaths? Well, those days seems to be gone forever.

As far as I remember, the incursion of social justice first started with the Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep DLC, with side quests like “Ell in Shining Armor” and “Fake Geek Guy”. But those were just minor side quests, I can skip the first one (because either results sucked) and I’m willing to buy this “inclusiveness” BS for Mr. Torgue because, REASONS MOTHERF&%&^$!!!

But then came The Pre-Sequel, and things become a bit annoying, first with the “midgets” being renamed to “Lil’ People” and secondly: the character of Janey Springs. I recall gamers from KotakuInAction claiming that she’s at her worst when playing as Athena, since the writers of the game felt the need to constantly remind us gamers that Janey’s a lesbian by having her hit on Athena at every given opportunity. Sure, there were queer characters before, like Sir Hammerlock, but I liked Hammerlock because he’s, well, an overall likeable man. The fact that he’s gay was only bought up by him casually and for a handful of times, it never felt IN YOUR FACE like in TPS.

But now, Gearbox wanted to become part of the Woke Club even more, recently they declared that one of the main Vault Hunters of Borderlands 3, the robotic beast master named “FL4K” has the pronoun of “they/them”, and started banning members of their forums who referred to FL4K as “he” or “him”.

Let’s cut to the straight: you designed a robot, gave it a masculine body shape as well as a masculine voice, you should expect people to call the robot “him”.

Man, future sure sucks! A few years ago, we were dreaming of self-lacing shoes, climate control outfits and flying cars. But instead, we got gender pronouns for fictional robots.

Since Gearbox has specifically stated that FL4K’s not a male, then some many consider his pronoun as “it”. After all, he’s a machine, thus genderless. And “they” is a plural, and thus should be used to refer multiple entitles, such as “them” in High School of the Dead. But in the mind of the creator (who happens to be “non-binary”, a.k.a has a made up gender), that’s not the case, FL4K is an AI that control both the humanoid body and its companions. But then again, this sorta makes FL4K the hive mind of his little pack, so shouldn’t it still be just one entity? “I think, therefore I AM”?

But none of this shouldn’t even matter, because FL4K is a video game character! He’s a glorified pile of f***ing pixels who’s whatever the player wants to be! Why are we even wasting time and energy protecting a pile of code and pixels from so called “ignorance and bigotry”?

Well, Borderlands 3 just got delayed again, for me… I’ll see when the Game Of The Year edition comes out.

The Unreliable SJW Critic—By Grust
Not too long ago, I heard about this new site called Mediaversity which grades and reviews films and TV shows, not on how good they are but by how inclusive and woke they are. While they at least seem to care about complex characters (good for them about that), they still nevertheless seem to care more about representation than actual storytelling, and seems determined like most SJWs in the entertainment industry focused more on that than anything worth seeing.

To put into perspective how poor their system is, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, was ranked a D or a 2.33 out of 5, despite being a favorite among Marvel Movie fans, while Shaft which has a black man in the lead role got a F, so pretty confusing. Avengers: Endgame, which is currently one of the highest grossing movies of all time, only has a C- grade. And finally, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which has become one of the most hated movies of all time and is playing a role in the loss of interest in Star Wars films, got an A- rank in the film, with the only negative being lack of LGBT representation.

Now I am not really a movie watcher anymore, ever since most celebrities started caring more about politics than entertaining us, but these grades are stupid, moronic, and further proof that SJWs can not and will never be able to entertain us. Now they do claim that views for their site is pretty high, but before the administrators don't go running and hiding in fear of a potential psychotic episode, there are two highly likely reasons for this. One is because people are looking and wondering how bad this really is. I checked it out myself to do as much research as I could with whatever could hit my interest; and Two (and this is the biggest flaw in their system and why the administrators can stop huddling in the corner) is because we can use their own grades against them.

One thing we all know about SJWs at this point is they care more about their ideology than being fun, so anytime a film or show gets an A or B grade, we can avoid it like an administrator that became my toy. Anything that hits a C or lower, we know someone doesn't give a crap about social justice and just wants to entertain. And honestly, I'd rather pay for a terrible movie than a woke piece of crap.

Conclusion
Anyway, this concludes our 6th episode of Stupidity from Planet Earth. More insanity will be coming soon! I hope you've held on to yours! Leave your opinions in the comment section and tell me if any improvement is needed!

As demanded by our psychotic leader, I'm now featuring special guest sections. If any of you have opinions you want to express posted on my blogs, let me know by sending me the scripts through private messaging. Thank you all for your support!

