Blog:Grust's Top 10 Non-Electric Kitchen Tools

Second only to gaming itself, my favorite hobby is to cook. I've even been collecting cooking tools to help me in cooking to prepare meals and yummy goodies. So as a treat I'm going to look at my top 10 favorite kitchen tools that don't require electricity and are great multitaskers. Now in my last blog where I talked about consoles great for JRPGs, I was in a good mood over it so I neglected to torture TyrantRex, so for this list the voices in my head are going to try and counter my reasons, getting me very angry. And the angrier I get, the more he will suffer horribly at the end of the blog. So onto the countdown.

TyrantRex: How many voices are in Grust's head?

Masson Thief: Let's just say, I think you're going to suffer in ways too horrible to imagine.

Tyrant Rex: Gulp.

10. Ice Cube Tray: Voices: Grust, don't most modern refrigerators and freezers have their own ice makers nowadays? Why do we need these? Grust: Okay one point of suffering goes to TR for that. But yes, most do come with it, so why do I recommend a tray? It's good for freezing other things. Whenever I make ice cream, I can save the egg whites and freeze them for a later use like angel food cake. Also whenever I have leftover coffee, I can freeze that as well for an iced mocha (drool). These are why ICT are still important cuz some recipes need this. They even come in silicone which makes removal of ice much easier too. I own one myself.

9. Mortar and Pestle: One of the oldest cooking tools of all time. These appliances have been in use for thousands of years and are still popular when it comes to grinding spices. Voices in Grust's head: But we have electric spice grinders now. Even coffee grinders do a good job. Grust: You do realize Tyrant is going to have to pay for your smart mouth right voices? Yes electric grinders do make good powders, but what else? Hmm I see. In truth M&Ps can also make pastes and sometimes, you don't want a powder, but just cracked spices like cracked peppercorn. That's what I love about M&Ps, you control the grind. Now these are made with different materials and while my love for cast iron burns with the white hot intensity of Joker's flesh, I don't recommend it for cast iron due to reactive spices and foods. I'd go with a granite model for heft. But it's your money not mine.

8. Sieve: In The Art of Darkess 2: Cocoa Powder, Alton Brown discussed sifters with W and looked at the Sieve but went with the hand crank. Personally, I think the sieve is the best sifter. Voices in Grust's Head: Disagreeing with one of your heroes, Grust? Shameful!" Grust: Another point of suffering for TR. While I do consider Alton Brown as one of my heroes, that doesn't mean I have to blindly agree all the time.  I personally see the sieve as the best because it's a multitasker. In addition to sifting, it's great for straining lumps from custards and puddings, large particles from stocks and broths, and is the easiest to clean, just run it over some water.  There are two models of sieve the normal and the mini.  At most, I recommend one normal sized sieve for all the uses I mentioned and two mini sieves (I'll explain later).

7. Micrograter:  A micrograter is the best tool for getting zest from citrus fruit without that nasty pith underneath. It's also grate for grating powder from spices like nutmeg without using wasting too much of the spice. And its great for a small amount of hard cheese like Parmessan. When shopping for one, be sure it says it can do a multitude of foods as I've seen some advertised for being good for either spices or zest. Also shop for a blade guard that snaps on both the blades and the back for holding the powders and zests. Voices in Grust's head: "Why do you need an extra thing to clean? Just place over a bowl." Grust: Boy I might be feeling sad for what might happen to TR at this point. Yes you could use a bowl, but the guard also keeps the blades from damaging a surface or getting dull. And the guard I have is very easy to clean, I just rinse with water.

6. Citrus Juicer: Do I even need to explain? Well, I'm going to anyway. A citrus juicer is used to collect juice form citrus fruit like lemons, limes, and oranges, to collect as much juice as you can. And as many recipes need lemon juice, it's a must own for a good cook. Voices in Grust's head: "Why not just buy the juices?" Grust: We are now at the point where only my Dark Masters an sufficiently torture TR now? Wanna go further? TyrantRex: Oh god NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Grust: Most of these juices you buy likely have artificial ingredients, additives, and likely have aged badly. Juicing gets you you the freshest juice possible.  There are electric models, but I can't for the life me understand why that's needed.  I own a simple juicer with a removable bowl and I used it to make me some Orange Sherbet and some key lime sorbet, both of which were extremely delicious.

5. Dutch Oven: One of the most versatile pots ever made. Cast iron models not only go onto a stove or oven, but can be placed over a campfire and large enough grills. There are two distinct models, kitchen style and outdoor model. Outdoor models have a flanged lid to put coals on top and legs on the bottom to put over coals for even cooking and can even be made into griddles. Kitchen models have rounded lids with teeth on top to let condensation drip back onto food and a flat bottom for stovetops. Dutch ovens are great for artisan breads, meals, even cakes. It's also one of the best deep fryers out there, which was the original reason I bought mine. Voices in Grust's head: "Well what about maintenance? Or skip cast iron and go with enamel." Grust: There's no point in saying what'll happen to TR at this point, he's walking the walk of the damned, but maintenance is not really hard. I plan to review cast iron one of these days though so I'm avoiding spoilers. As for enamel, I have nothing against it, I just prefer cast iron.

4. Cast Iron Skillets: As with Dutch Ovens, cast iron skillets are very versatile. You can put them on the stove, in the oven, on the grill or even a campfire. I even used a biofuel camp stove to make me some eggs. With skillets, you can even make your own pizzas. Voices in Grust's head: "But they're heavy. And what about those new nonsticks advertised on TV?" Grust: Sigh. That heaviness allows cast iron to hold heat very well. Also my dad bought one of the ASoTV pans. Let's just say, my cast iron is still clean and shiny with its carbon coating while there are stains on that pan. Overrated junk. I'll stick to good old cast iron thank you very much.

3. French Press: Hands down my all time favorite way to make a cup of coffee. A french press is a pitcher with a plunger lid with a mesh strainer. Once you add your ground coffee, add your hot water and steep for about 4 minutes, push the plunger down very slowly and pour the best cup of coffee you will ever drink. That's cuz as you push down, you not only push the grounds to the bottom, the mesh emulsifies the coffee oils with the water creating perfect body and flavor. Voices in Grust's head: "Automatic drip machines are faster and can make more coffee." Grust: Automatic drip machines are EVIL! The water doesn't spend as much time with the grounds increasing the chance for under extraction and the filters make for waste. A french press lets the coffee steep better extracting more flavor. It's also a multitasker. It's great for teas and even salad dressings. As for cleaning, well that's why I said above you need a second mini sieve. Once the coffee is out fill the press with more water and pour over the sieve to collect the grounds and dump in the trash or use for fertilizer. DO NOT dump in the sink as it builds up and damages your pipes. It may be a bit of a pain but it's a small price to pay for the best damn cup of coffee you'll ever have.

2. Pizza Cutter: It may be named for pizza but it's a damn good multi-tasker. Great for brownies, marshmallows, crackers, you name it. Voices in Grust's head: "Why not use a knife?" Grust: Cuz knives use more pressure and can crush rather than cut. You can also get a bit more precision with a pizza cutter, that's why.

Honorable mentions:

Knives: Naw too easy.

Kitchen Apron: I think they're for keeping clothes safe from spilled food but I bought mine just for the aesthetic.

1. Your Hands:  A kitchen tool money can't buy, cuz you were born with them. Voices in Grust's head: "Cheater, your hands aren't kitchen tools." Grust: Your hands are needed to operate these tools yes but you can use them for mixing as well. You can use them for mixing meatloaf, meatballs, large batches of trail mix. And your hands are the best egg separator there is. When I crack an egg, I place it over my fingers. The egg whites sink into a bowl while the yolk stays in my hands. And the only maintenance you need for your hands is to wash them. There is a reason Sanji from One Piece fights with his legs. He knows hands are the number one kitchen tool.

Now as for Tyrant Rex. Grabs him by the collar and opens a portal to a dark room. Inside is a mere cup of coffee.

Grust: Behold the darkest of my dark masters. I'd say abandon all hope, but trust me, Hell is paradise compared to what you're going to go through.

TR: It's a cup of coffee, what's it gonna do to me.

Grust looks scared as an unseen force pulls Tyrant Rex into the portal. In a moment, screams that should never be made by a mere human is soon echoed throughout Crappy Games Wiki. In five minutes, Tyrant Rex is flung out and the portal closes. Tyrant is comatose, foaming at the mouth, clearly traumatized by ungodly horrors.

Grust: Oh God what happened. Grust reopens the portal and enters. He soon returns with a look of horror onto his face.

Masson Thief: What happened to Tyrant? Grust: The cup of coffee... made him watch every ten hour loop video on Youtube, made him watch every episode of Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon, made him play 100 hours of Fallout 76, made him beat Superman 64, played Operation Board James Style on him, though that's not too bad, and finally sent him to a universe where Tommy Wiseau did a one man show of the Wizard of Oz where he dressed in drag and sang Somewhere over the Rainbow.

Masson Thief: Oh good God.

Grust: Even I have my limits to torture. I think hes suffered enough for 50 administrators 10 times over.

Vicious187: Grust, are you saying....

Grust: I don't think I can torture another administrator now. This was too much even for me.

So are there any other tools I missed. Snickers, yeah I did. Let me know in the comments.

