Crash Dummy

"They started with an idea, and then they just gave up. They just...gave...up. That's the best way to describe this entire game. Instead of porting their already-existing 3D game over to new platforms, they reinvented their once terrible game into something even worse that feels far lazier than what came before."

- Rerez

Crash Dummy is a 2011 video game originally released for iOS, serving as a "follow-up" and demake to the 2009 game CID the Dummy, with the Android version getting a release two years later, and was later ported to PC and consoles for the mh:awesomegames:Nintendo Switch and mh:awesomegames:PlayStation 4 in 2019.

Why It's Even More of a Dummy

 * 1) The main problem with the game is that it's not even a proper sequel. It's more apt to describe it as a demake of the previous game with the exact same plot and with similar level design, only with one dimension removed.
 * 2) There are NUMEROUS control problems regardless of which version is being played.
 * 3) *Basic movements like walking, jumping, and ledge-grabbing only seem to work when they feel like it, especially in the Switch version, where ledge-grabbing can take minutes to be successfully executed.
 * 4) *There are also several glitches that are intrusive to the overall gameplay experience, such as some unusual out-of-bounds glitches that lock the player out of beating a level.
 * 5) The combat feels abysmal and difficult because of how long CID takes to actually attack enemies and with the enemies moving too quickly to properly take out.
 * 6) To add insult to injury, there are also unwelcoming version differences:
 * 7) *The PC version is the buggiest, as it can't even be properly controlled with the keyboard, locking players at the title screen.
 * 8) *The Switch version has an abundance of input lag.
 * 9) *The PS4 version is the most stable out of the three, but is only marginally better than the Switch version. It still has plenty of input lag.
 * 10) Even barring the control problems, the game is loaded with level design that feels more like the programmers were attempting to actively spite the player. This includes spikes that are invisible to the player until they are walked over, rapidly-firing turrets that cannot be disabled unlike in the original game, and especially a pointless platforming area in D-Troit's Castle that only serves to waste the player's time.
 * 11) The life system is incredibly pointless, due to CID spawning near where he last died even if the player gets a Game Over.
 * 12) The plot is frustratingly difficult to follow, due to several different flaws:
 * 13) *SEVERAL typos and grammar errors present throughout the game's dialogue, most notably the "Prof=1" coding issue present in the PS4 version.
 * 14) *For unknown reasons, B.M. Werken is now known as "the Advisor". He is also bafflingly given a drastically different design in the opening cutscene.
 * 15) *Speaking of, the opening cutscene itself is loaded with oddities, such as the claw that grabs D-Troit and somehow clips him through the control panel he is leaning on.
 * 16) There are no menu options to speak of.

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