ALF

ALF is a video game released for the Sega Master System and based on the sitcom released on December 31, 1989. It was developed by Nexa and published by Sega.

Plot
ALF must locate pieces of his spaceship in order to return to his home planet.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The FBI enemies look like creepy pedophiles with their outfits and the way they walk and follow ALF. AVGN's quote perfectly explains this.
 * 2) The screen only moves when ALF is a third from the edge of the screen. This makes it very difficult to dodge obstacles, especially the bikers.
 * 3) And when you hit any enemy such as the bikers, you automatically die. You can't jump on the enemies either.
 * 4) Only five lives and one continue.
 * 5) There are no checkpoints: when you die you get placed back at the beginning of the area you were in.
 * 6) It's near-impossible for ALF to avoid enemies in the street section because both he and the bikers have a massive hitbox and everything is treated as if it were on a flat plane.
 * 7) Wonky jumping mechanics: you stop for a little while, and then jump, but stay in the same x position. If you're already moving, it will stop as well, then you can jump. However, you can't change the jump direction.
 * 8) Crouching is worthless because ALF's crouching sprite is almost the same height as his standing one.
 * 9) There is some music, but no sound effects. Hong Kong 97 would make the same mistake six years after this came out.
 * 10) The FBI agents can go inside the house, which is strange and ridiculous.
 * 11) All the items in the in-game shop other than the ones required to beat the game only exist to make the game unwinnable when bought.
 * 12) The infamous "ALF Book" which, when purchased, displays a block of text explaining the game's plot, some strange fourth-wall-breaking story about the making of the game, and then kicks you back to the title screen after laughing at you about doing so.
 * 13) The score counter is completely useless: You will get the same score at the end every time because it's based solely on the items needed to beat the game.
 * 14) *Another of these troll moves is when you reach the space station. You absolutely have to buy the spacesuit to progress to the final part of the game. You can't return to an earlier point in the game to get more money if you don't have enough to buy the space suit, becuase if you leave the shop without having bought it, you die instantly.
 * 15) *Yet another troll move is that if you try to quickly proceed instead of choosing between yes or no and immediately try to start again, the first set is no, so you quit.
 * 16) Nearly every part of the game (the cave, the lake, the street, going into space) is luck-based due to random enemy/projectile patterns and enemies that love to corner you in places where it's impossible to avoid them.
 * 17) ALF's only form of attack is a stick of salami which he swings with almost zero range, making the attack itself nearly pointless.
 * 18) The bats in the cave section can kill you even during their death animation.
 * 19) *Speaking of their death animation, this is part of the presentation, which is especially evident in the text boxes and the end screen, which quickly aged as it drifted away from its release date. Though this is understandable because the creators couldn't get more than $200 in the budget to develop it.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The graphics aren't too bad; for a third-generation console such as the Master System, this was acceptable.
 * 2) The music is alright as well, for the same reason as the graphics.
 * 3) In some sections, such as the underwater and outer space sections, it is much easier to avoid enemies, as long as you stay vigilant and stay close to the center, making them a breath of... fairly fresh air compared to the perilous streets of bikers that will kill you if even the top of their sprites run you over.

Videos
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