Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude!

"Fuck this plastic piece of shit! Watching dried dingleberries hanging off your cat's asshole's more entertaining than this concoction of cock! I'd rather have a narwhal ram its horn up my cornhole than ram this shit in my console! I'd rather have an elephant kickflip off my face and shit on me! Fuck you, Greendog! Time for you to go on a Caribbean vacation! I'm gonna drop this game in real lava. Yes, actual lava. To the Nerd-Copter!"

- The Angry Video Game Nerd, before he drops the game into actual lava

Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude! is a platform game developed by Sega Technical Institute and Interactive Designs and published by Sega for the Sega Genesis console, and was published by Sega in September 1992. A ported version for the handheld Game Gear was released a year later. It was actually based on an obscure 80's board game called Surf Trip, which in turn was based on the career of the late Californian surfer Ric Green.

Bad Qualities

 * 1) Terrible jumping. It's really a lot like Lester the Unlikely, where the jumping is horrible, but at least it was much better in that game, but this one makes it worse.
 * 2) The skateboard controls very slippery, thus making it rather difficult to jump the obstacle.
 * 3) Every single enemy is annoying, especially in the gyrocopter stages.
 * 4) * One such enemy is the island natives who throw boomerangs which, due to the frustrating jump, can be difficult to get past without taking damage.
 * 5) The skateboards and inline skates function almost exactly the same, defeating the purpose of choosing between them.
 * 6) The gyrocopter stages are frustrating due to the haphazard enemy placement and how pathetically short the gyrocopter's punching glove's range is, such that the game rains down "pity" food via parachutes. Additionally, every single gyrocopter stage plays out exactly the same; if you've played one, you've played them all.
 * 7) Atrocious level design, with the main problems being enemy spamming, objects in the foreground blending in too well with the background or other foreground objects, and objects that suddenly send the player quite a distance backward without warning.
 * 8) There's no bosses in the end of the final level, just obstacles to get past using the skateboard, which is rather generic considering that Sonic the Hedgehog had a final boss and was released prior to Greendog.
 * 9) * In fact, every single boss (except for the final level, which doesn't have a final boss) is pretty easy to kill.
 * 10) Mediocre ending, where the game thanks Greendog for playing the game and later telling him that the adventures have yet to continue, which counts as sequel baiting, but possibly due to the negative reception, it was cancelled.
 * 11) The punch button is absolutely pathetic, as the only way to attack an enemy is to use a  Sausage attack, which has a ridiculously inappropriate name.
 * 12) Much like Rise of the Robots, Greendog was created to be a franchise, with merchandise, an animated movie, an SNES game, and even a live-action sitcom written by Ric's wife, but for unknown reasons, it never materialized except for a promotional comic book made by SEGA.

Good Qualities

 * 1) The graphics are okay, as if they were from an MS-DOS game.
 * 2) The controls are decent, despite the infamous attack button.
 * 3) The soundtrack is great.

Trivia

 * The game was the subject of a running gag within Game Sack, in which Joe Redifer would yell "GREENDAWWWWG!" whenever it is brought up.

Videos
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