Blog:Tourettes Guy (joke page)

Since it's October, I've decided to spook you all with this horrific excuse of a page. THE TOURETTES GUY IS AN ANGRY FAT BOOMER WHO LOVES TONY THE TIGER AND BOB SAGET. THIS PAGE WILL ALSO COVER HIS SON AND FATHER (WHO IS SANTA CLAUS BTW).

WHY HE SUCKS

 * 1) HE BOUGHT THE COLGATE TOOTHPASTE WITH TARTAR CONTROL, AND IT MADE HIM FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT.
 * 2) HE PREFERS THE PUFF DADDY VERSION OF THAT ONE SONG, NOT THAT STING PIECE OF SHIT.
 * 3) HE PISSED.
 * 4) HE WANTS TWO CHEESEBURGERS WITH PICKLES AND KETCHUP ON THEM.
 * 5) HE ALSO WANTS SOME SHIT TO DRINK.
 * 6) HE STUDIES THE ANATOMY OF PORCUPINE BALLS.
 * 7) HE FELL OUT OF HIS FUCKING BED.
 * 8) HE WATCHED A 12 HOUR MARATHON OF SCOOBY-DOO, AND SAID "SHIT" AT THE END OF IT.
 * 9) SAT IN FRONT OF A DOOR AND GOT KILLED.
 * 10) HE DIDN'T WIN THE LOTTERY.
 * 11) DOESN'T WANT TO SWITCH PHONE COMPANIES, AND STUCK THE FIVE CENT SUNDAES UP THE CALLER'S FUCKING ASS.
 * 12) HE THINKS PISSING AND SHITTING OUT THE WINDOW ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
 * 13) HE THREW HIS SHOE AT THE CAMERAMAN'S FAGGOT ASS.
 * 14) HE CALLED OUT DOM DELUISE FOR STTING AT HOME WITH HIS ASS UP HIS ASS.
 * 15) HE FUCKED THE HEAD AND SHOULDERS SOAP.
 * 16) HE'S BRUSHING HIS TEETH WHILE IGNORING THE PHONE.
 * 17) HE HAS BALLS.
 * 18) HE GOT TRAPPED IN THE BATHROOM BECAUSE HE COULDN'T UNLOCK THE DOOR.
 * 19) HIS BEER IS SOME GOOD SHIT.
 * 20) HE HAS AN ASS.
 * 21) HIS GRANDPA DIED 15 YEARS AGO, AND NOBODY GAVE A SHIT.
 * 22) HIS CHILDHOOD HERO IS FUCK YOU.
 * 23) LET HIM ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE.
 * 24) HIS MIDDLE NAME IS "ASS".
 * 25) HE GOT FUCKED AFTER REVEALING WHERE HE WAS BORN.
 * 26) HE SPILLED BEER ALL OVER HIS SHIRT.
 * 27) HE DIDN'T TALK TO ANYONE YESTERDAY, HE WAS IN HIS CAR TAKING A SHIT!
 * 28) HIS ASS GIVES A SHIT ABOUT BIG FOOT.
 * 29) WANTS TO SHOVE A BROOM UP THE ASS OF WHOEVER NAMED IT A "FASHION BUG".
 * 30) HE DOESN'T DICK WITH EGGNOG.
 * 31) HIS ASS IS THE WHITE STUFF ON THE FLOOR.
 * 32) HE CALLED HER A BITCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER TITS.
 * 33) HE WANTS TO TIT FUCK HER ASS.
 * 34) HE WOULDN'T FUCK HER WITH HIS ASS.
 * 35) HAS A SHORT DICK.
 * 36) SOMEONE WRINKLED HIS RANDY TRAVIS POSTER, PISSED HIS SEAT, AND HID HIS KEYS.
 * 37) GOT COVID WHILE PLAYING CHESS.
 * 38) TOLD HIS SON TO QUIT FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS, WHICH GRANTED HIM THE TITLE OF THE "WORLD'S GREATEST DAD".
 * 39) HIS GRANDMA DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ALF IS.
 * 40) FORCED HIS FRIEND TO STORE 30 CASES OF PICKES AT HIS HOUSE. THIS CAUSED HIS HOUSE TO SMELL LIKE PICKES.
 * 41) HE SUFFERED A SEISURE ON THE COUCH.
 * 42) FELL OUT OF HIS FUCKING OFFICE CHAIR.
 * 43) SOME SQUIRREL IS FUCKING HIS TOMATOES!
 * 44) HE CAN'T SEE SHIT.
 * 45) HIS GRANDMA'S OLD AS FUCK!!
 * 46) WHEN HE DIES AND GOES TO HEAVEN, HE'S GONNA SAY "SHIT".
 * 47) HIS ASS TURNED INTO JELLO.
 * 48) THINKS THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL SOUNDS LIKE CHEWBACCA TAKING A SHIT.
 * 49) GOT KICKED OUT OF A LENS CRAFTERS FOR CALLING EVERYONE A DICK.
 * 50) TOLD HIS SON TO GO TO JELLY PIRATE DONUTS AND TAKE A TWO HOUR SHIT.
 * 51) COULDN'T FIND THE PAPER TOWELS.
 * 52) GOT HIT IN THE DICK WITH A PAPER TOWEL ROLL AND DIED.
 * 53) BROKE THE SALT SHAKER.
 * 54) GRABBED SOME HARD TITS.
 * 55) DOESN'T LIKE FAGGOTS WITH TUBAS.
 * 56) YELLED "PISS" SO LOUD THAT HE WENT BACK IN TIME BY A MONTH.
 * 57) CAN'T GET UP AFTER 8 AM WHEN ALEX TREBEK TAKES A PICTURE OF A GIRAFFE UP HIS ASS URING AN EARTHQUAKE.
 * 58) RUNS LIKE HELL WHEN MAGNUM PI IS ON.
 * 59) A LONG-LEGGED PISSED OFF PUERTO RICAN TRIED TO BREAK INTO HIS TRUCK.
 * 60) "BOB SAGET".
 * 61) GOT ATTACKED BY BEES AND DIED.
 * 62) TOLD HIS WIFE TO WAIT A MINUTE.
 * 63) HE WANT'S BACON AND EGGS FOR BREAKFAST.
 * 64) HE PLAYED WITH HIS TITS WHILE LOOKING AT HIS ASS.
 * 65) HE GOT A BOWL OF CEREAL THROWN AT HIM, KILLING HIM.
 * 66) LOVES SHIRLENA.
 * 67) WOULD COMMIT SUICIDE IF HIS LAST NAME WAS COMBS!!!
 * 68) LESBIANS LIKE WHAT HE LIKES (WHICH IS CORNDOGS).
 * 69) DON'T TALK ABOUT HIS DICK WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.
 * 70) HE'S AT THE ASS END OF THE FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH.
 * 71) CAN'T FIND HIS PANTS.
 * 72) HE'S GONNA TAKE A PISS. WHEN HE COMES BACK, HE'S GONNA TALK ABOUT THE MIGHTY DUCK MOVIES.
 * 73) HE PLAYS WITH A FULL DICK.
 * 74) CAN'T FIND HIS FUCKING GLASSES.
 * 75) HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CHICKEN SHIT BULLSHIT.
 * 76) SMASHED HIS CAR DOOR INTO ANOTHER CAR.
 * 77) HE'S GONNA OUT OF THE BUTT AND INTO THE FUCK IF HE DOESN'T COME UP WITH THAT 36 DOLLARS.
 * 78) HE SUCKS AT BOWLING.
 * 79) HE'LL SHOVE A CAN OF PRINGLES UP SOME PREACHER'S ASS, AND IS HAPPY TO DO SO.
 * 80) FELL OUT OF HIS OFFICE CHAIR AGAIN.
 * 81) HE SMELLS REALLY GOOD.
 * 82) HE'S HAS ON COLOGNE FOR THAT BITCH AT CHURCH.
 * 83) PRETENDED TO HOST UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.
 * 84) SOMEONE BROKE INTO HIS HOUSE AND STOLE $500 WORTH OF BULLSHIT.
 * 85) AT LEAST HIS WIFE STILL HAS ALL OF HER AUNTS, UNCLES, AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT.
 * 86) DOESN'T WANT TWIZZLERS.
 * 87) CLOGGED THE TOILET, PROMPTING AN ANIME FIGHT WITH CARL JOHNSON. IT WAS A GOOD SHIT BTW.
 * 88) HE GOT A HORSE ASS.
 * 89) HIS ASS CAN WRITE A BETTER SONG THAN THOSE GUYS (WITH ONE CHEEK TIED BEHIND HIS BALLS).
 * 90) HE CALLED SHIRLENA'S GRANDPA AN ASS.
 * 91) HE MOVED FROM NORTH DAKOTA BECAUSE HIS WIFE WAS FUCKING EVERYONE AT BISMARK (THAT, AND HER SPAGETTI SUCKED DICK)!
 * 92) A BIRB FLEW INTO HIS HOUSE, AND HE BROKE EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE HOUSE TRYING TO CATCH IT.
 * 93) SMASHED HIS HEAD AGAINST A CHANDELIER AND DIED.
 * 94) RONALD MCGODDAMNDONALD
 * 95) WANTS TO PUNCH GEORGE W. BUSH IN HIS STUPID COCK.
 * 96) HOPES THAT RICK MORANIS GETS BLOWN INTO A MILLION PIECES IN THE NEXT MOVIE HE'S IN.
 * 97) IS NOT AFRAID OF RICK MORANIS.
 * 98) HATES RICK MORANIS' PUSSY WHIPPED FRIENDS.
 * 99) TOLD HIS SON NOT TO GET A BIG DICK.
 * 100) COULDN'T GET ANY PETER PAN PEANUT BUTTER.
 * 101) YELLED "HOLY SHIT" IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE.
 * 102) RAMMED INTO AN ICE BOX, CAUSING A CARDBOARD CUTOUT TO FALL ON HIS HEAD AND KILL HIM.
 * 103) HE CAN'T FIND THE BATHROOMS.
 * 104) ALL HE HAS IS 40 DOLLARS.
 * 105) DOESN'T WANT TO PUT THE MARSHMELLOWS BACK.
 * 106) HE'S GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE GODDAMN LOOTERS AND POLLUTERS.
 * 107) HE TALKS TO HIS SON ON A DICK.
 * 108) HE CHANGES HIS DAMN GLASSES MORE THAN HE CHANGES HIS DAMN SHIRT.
 * 109) HE NEEDS TO MOVE HIS CAR.
 * 110) GOT INTO A FUCK YOU MATCH WITH SHIRLENA AND SANTA.
 * 111) GOT INTO A WWE WRESTING MATCH WITH SANTA, WHERE HE WON BY SHOVING SANTA OVER, KILLING HIM.
 * 112) GOT A PHONE CALL MR. DINGUS.
 * 113) THINKS AMAZON IS A BIG BLACK WOMAN THAT WORKS WITH HIS SON.
 * 114) HE CAN'T FIND ANYTHING TO WATCH.
 * 115) HE'S NOT AFRAID OF SHIT! Except snakes.
 * 116) HE SAID "WATER".
 * 117) HIS BLENDER BROKE.
 * 118) HIS CABLE COMPAY PROMISED HIM 3 MONTHS OF OF FREE SHOWTIME, BUT HE GOT CHARGED ANYWAYS.
 * 119) DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A FRANCHISE FEE IS.
 * 120) HE'S GONNA TAKE HIS BUSINESS TO COMCAST.
 * 121) ONCE YOU SEE HIS DICK, YOU WON'T WANT IT!!!
 * 122) "HORSE MANURE".
 * 123) GOT FUCKED BY DAIRY QUEEN TWICE.
 * 124) IT FEELS LIKE HE HAS 500 POUNDS OF FATASS ON HIS CHEST.
 * 125) FELL OF THE COUCH WHILE HAVING CHEST PAINS AND DIED.
 * 126) GOT DRUNK, FELL DOWN THE STAIRS, AND DIED.
 * 127) HE CAN SHIT A BETTER KOOL-AID COMMERCIAL.
 * 128) GOT BURNED TO DEATH BY A HOT STREAM OF WATER.
 * 129) RIPPED THE YELLOW PAGES BOOK IN HALF.
 * 130) HE WATCHED AN EXCERSIZE PROGRAM WHILE EATING ON THE COUCH.
 * 131) HE WOULDN'T PISS ON HIM IF HE WAS ON JEOPARDY!
 * 132) HE WOULDN'T GOOGLE LIMP BIZCUIT WITH HIS DICK.
 * 133) HE REMEMBERS THAT FAT WRESTLER FROM THE 80S NAMED DUSTY RHODES.
 * 134) HE WANTS TO GET FUCKED.
 * 135) HIS PEN RAN OUT OF INK.
 * 136) DOESN'T KNOW IF JIFFY LUBE IS OPEN ON SUNDAYS.
 * 137) EVERYONE BROUGHT MASHED POTATOES TO HIS HOUSE TO CELEBRATE SHITLOAD OF MASHED POTATOES DAY.
 * 138) HE STOOD AROUND WITH HIS FINGERS UP HIS ASS INSTEAD OF HELPING SANTA UP AFTER HE FELL.
 * 139) HE DAMNED THE REFEREE IN THE ASS.
 * 140) HE'S GONNA SCOTCH TAPE YOUR ASS SHUT.
 * 141) CLAIMED THAT IS SHIRLENA WAS A CAR, SHE WOULD BE A "4 DOOR FORD WHORE".
 * 142) A ONE YEAR SUPPLY OF PAPER TOWELS BROKE OUT OF A BOX HE WAS CARRYING, CAUSING HIM TO FALL DOWN THE STAIRS AND ON THE CAMERAMAN, KILLING THEM BOTH.
 * 143) SAID "SHIT" 35 TIMES WHILE VACCUMING.
 * 144) CALLED UNSOLVED MYSTERIES "UNSOLVED SHIT"
 * 145) REALIZED HIS CLOCK IS FULL OF SHIT.
 * 146) HE HAD TO USE THE BATHROOM, AND 50 PEOPLE WATCHED!!!
 * 147) HE DOESN'T GET THE DAMN PAPER.
 * 148) HE WAS BUMPED FROM WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
 * 149) IS GOING TO CALL VANNA WHITE A BITCH.
 * 150) HE WILL ALSO TIE PAT SAJAK TO A TELEPHONE POLE, AND HAVE A UPS GUY BUTTFUCK HIM.
 * 151) HE CHOKED TO DEATH ON SOME POPCORN.
 * 152) FUCK RAP MUSIC.
 * 153) HE SUCKS AT MORTAL KOMBAT.
 * 154) "ROUND BIG BALLS".
 * 155) THERE'S A FLY IN HIS HOUSE.
 * 156) GOT SHIT SCARED OUT OF HIM.
 * 157) HE'S A ROAD RAGER.
 * 158) TOLD SOME GENTLEMEN TO EAT SHIT.
 * 159) THAT CARWASH SONG PISSES HIM OFF.
 * 160) INFAMOULSY CLAIMED THAT PEACH TREE GROWERS ARE "ASSES".
 * 161) FRANK SHIT HIS WHEELCHAIR.
 * 162) HE'S BEEN ON HOLD FOR ALMOST AN HOUR.
 * 163) HE WANTS TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER.
 * 164) WANTS TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH.
 * 165) "SHI-HIT".
 * 166) HE'S GOING TO A DIFFERENT CREDIT CARD COMPANY.
 * 167) HE CAN'T UNSCREW A SCREW. THE MACHO MAN IS GOING TO EAT THAT SCREW'S ASS.
 * 168) HE WILL BE CONTACTING HIS INSURANCE COMPANY, HIS LAWYER, AND HIS DOGSHIT.
 * 169) HE CAN'T WATCH WRESTLING SHOWS WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT SHIT.
 * 170) THINKS BAD NEWS BROWN'S NAME IS BASED ON HIM TAKING A BIG ASS SHIT, AND NAMING IT "BAD NEWS BROWN".
 * 171) HIS NEW SUNGLASSES HAVE A HIDDEN CAMERA.
 * 172) CALLED A LOWE'S EMPLOYEE "MR. BITCH".
 * 173) CAN LAY IN BEDS THAT WOULD CAUSE HHH TO SHIT HIS PANTS ON.
 * 174) CALLED EVERYONE IN MCDONALDS A DUMB MOTHERFUCKER.
 * 175) HE GOT THE HICCUPS.
 * 176) HE TRIED TO GRAB A PEN, BUT FELL OVER AND DIED.
 * 177) "YOU LOOK LIKE BOSS HOGG'S COCK!!!!"
 * 178) HE DOESN'T GIVE A PIECE OF SHIT.
 * 179) HIS BROOM CLOSED SMELLS LIKE AN ASS.
 * 180) THE GUY HE'S ON THE PHONE WITH IS AN ASSHOLE, AND HE'S GONNA KICK HIS ASS.
 * 181) THE NEW NEIGHBORS CAN HEAR HIM YELLING, BUT HE DOESN'T FUCK.
 * 182) THINKS ICE CUBE LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS SMELLS SHIT.
 * 183) THINKS THAT PEOPLE WHO GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ARE FUCKING DUMBASSES.
 * 184) CALLED HIS SON A "STUPID PECKER".
 * 185) HE'S GONNA SHOVE THE TOMAHTOES UP A SALESMAN'S FAT ASS.
 * 186) "PISS, PISS, PISS!"
 * 187) TOLD HIS SON TO SHUP UP.
 * 188) THINKS THAT CHARLIE THE TUNA IS AN ASSWIPE.
 * 189) A FAG KNOCKED AT HIS DOOR.
 * 190) HE GOT REAR-ENDED BY A SHITTY MITSUBISHI.
 * 191) IS GETTING PISSED OFF BY THE WAY SOME GUY'S BUTT LOOKS IN SOME TIGHT ASS JEANS.
 * 192) THE CAMERAMAN CAME TO HIS HOUSE, HAS 6 PANCAKES, 6 SAUSAGES, AND 3 GLASSES OF ORANGE JUICE, AND THEN HE GETS IN THE TOURETTES GUY'S BED TO PLAY WITH HIS ASS.
 * 193) HE WAS MARRIED TO SHIRLENA FOR 15 DAMN YEARS.
 * 194) BEFORE THAT, HE WAS MARRIES TO SOME BITCH NAMED "BARB".
 * 195) HE'S A NO GOOD, INBRED, DRUNK PIECE OF CRAP.
 * 196) SUGGESTED THAT SOMEONE SHOULD CUT QUASIMODO'S HUMP OFF, AND SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS.
 * 197) HIS WASHING MACHINE BROKE, AND THE REPAIR MAN WILL CHARGE 50 DOLLARS JUST TO LOOK AT IT!
 * 198) HE THINKS R. LEE ERMEY SOUNDED LIKE A LESBIAN.
 * 199) HE COULDN'T HAVE THE COOKOUT BECAUSE OF IT RAINING.
 * 200) TOLD HIS SON TO PUT THE TOILET PLUNGERS IN THE BATHROOM.
 * 201) HIS GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL TOOK A SHIT.
 * 202) HE CAUGHT HIM IN THE BACKYARD MAKING AN ASS.
 * 203) HE CAN'T MAKE IT IN TODAY, HE FUCKED HIS FOOT.
 * 204) HE'S BEEN CALLING OUT AN AWFUL LOT.
 * 205) HE FUCKED HIS FOOT!!!
 * 206) HE WON A 250,000 DOLLAR LOTTERY TICKET.
 * 207) HE FELL IN THE BATHROOM AND HIT HIS HEAD.
 * 208) HE THOUGHT HIS SON WAS HOLDING UP 1-800-2MY-DICK FINGERS.
 * 209) HE'S STUCK IN A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF HIPPOPOTAMUS SHIT!
 * 210) THERE'S BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE, YOU'VE GOT TO STEP ON THOSE PIZZA BOXES HE LAID DOWN.
 * 211) HE'S GOT BEER CANS TO THE FUCKING CEILING.
 * 212) HE'S GOT TO BE AT COURT IN TWO HOURS.
 * 213) HE'S BEEN LAID SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE OF SOME PAIR OF WHITE SNEAKERS.
 * 214) COCKROACHES GOT INTO HIS CEREAL AGAIN.
 * 215) HIS SINK IS CRAWLING WITH ANTS.
 * 216) HE SPRAYED THOSE PISS ANTS.
 * 217) HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE PUT THE MOTH BALLS.
 * 218) THERE'S A LIVE ANIMAL IN THE POOL TABLE ROOM.
 * 219) HE GRABBED A FAN TO THROW IT AT THE ANIMAL, BUT THREW IT AT THE FAGGOT CAMERAMAN INSTEAD, KILLING THE CAMERAMAN.

WHY HIS SON SUCKS

 * 1) HE SMACKED HIS DAD WITH THE DOOR.
 * 2) HE CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT HIS BALLS. PISS.
 * 3) HE NEEDS TO MAKE LIKE A BANANA, AND SHIT!
 * 4) HE OFFERED A TOWEL.
 * 5) HE'S A DICK AND A FAGGOT.
 * 6) HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS.
 * 7) HE BROUGHT HOME 30 CASES OF PICKES.
 * 8) WONDERED WHAT BRENT SPINER'S DOING NOWADAYS.
 * 9) DOESN'T THINK THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL SOUNDS LIKE CHEWBACCA TAKING A SHIT.
 * 10) HIT HIS DAD IN THE DICK WITH A ROLL OF PAPER TOWELS.
 * 11) CAN'T WALK A MILE IN TOURETTES GUY'S SHIT.
 * 12) HE TALKED SHIT ABOUT TOTAL.
 * 13) HE LOOKS LIKE 200 IBS. OF BIRD SHIT.
 * 14) DRIVES LIKE A DUMBASS
 * 15) HAS A FLAT TIRE.
 * 16) THOUGHT THE TOURETTES GUY WAS WEARING A MICH=KEY MOUSE T-SHIRT, WHEN IN REALITY IT WAS JUST TIT DIRT.
 * 17) GOT SOME MOVIE THEATER BUTTERED POPCORN BECAUSE IT WAS TWO FOR $5.
 * 18) HE BUYS BIRTHDAY PRESENTS ON AMAZON.
 * 19) HE NEEDS TO GET HIS RETARDED ASS TO THE BATHROOM TO SHAVE HIS SIDEBURNS.
 * 20) HIS FAVORITE BAND IS LIMP BIZCUIT.
 * 21) HE KNEED THE TOURETTES GUY IN THE ASS.
 * 22) BULLSHITTED ABOUT A NEW DIET COKE.
 * 23) WAS ACTING ALL SMARTASSISH IN LOWE'S.
 * 24) HE DRESSED UP AS FREDDY KRUEGER AND SCARED SHIT OUT OF THE TOURETTES GUY.
 * 25) HE CAN'T MAKE CONFIDENCE HIS BITCH.
 * 26) SMASHED HIS FACE AGAINST A MCDONALDS DOOR, KILLING HIM.
 * 27) HE'S A STUPID PECKER.
 * 28) HE'S A FAN OF KNIGHT RIDER.
 * 29) IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO GET A DAMN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!!!
 * 30) HE MADE BREAKFAST IN BED FOR FATHER'S DAY.
 * 31) HE BROKE A CUP.
 * 32) HE SPENT 30 MINUTES MAKING BREAKFAST.
 * 33) HE CAN'T FIND HIS PHONE ANYWHERE.
 * 34) IF HIS PHONE WAS A FAG, IT WOULDV'E SUCKED HIS COCK.
 * 35) HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW A WASHING MACHINE WORKS.
 * 36) HE COULDN'T TAKE AN EDUCATED SHIT.
 * 37) MOTHS ATE HOLES IN HIS WORK SHIRT.

WHY HIS FATHER SUCKS

 * 1) TOLD HIS SON TO PUT ON A DIFFERENT SHIRT.
 * 2) WHY WON'T HE JUST FUCK OFF?
 * 3) WANTS THE PHILIPPINES TO FILL UP HIS ASS.
 * 4) HE'S DEALING WITH AROUND FIVE ASSHOLES.
 * 5) HE ALSO NEEDED TO MOVE HIS CAR.
 * 6) FUCK HIM AND EVERY MALL SANTA THAT LOOOKS LIKE HIM.
 * 7) WRESTLED HIS SON AFTER LOSING THE FUCK YOU MATCH.
 * 8) CALLED HIS SON A "BALDY".
 * 9) HIS SON SHOVED HIM AWAY, CAUSING HIM TO FALL OVER AND DIE.
 * 10) HE HATES THE SHIT OUT OF HIS SON.
 * 11) HE REGRETS GOING OVER TO TROURETTES GUY'S HOUSE.
 * 12) IS AGAINST PEOPLE CELEBRATING SHITLOAD OF MASHED POTATOES DAY.
 * 13) HE FOUND SOME CORN, GREEN BEANS, OATS, AND SOME SALTINES.
 * 14) DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL COUNT CHOCULA IS.
 * 15) NOTICED SOME SHIT ON A RELATIVE'S NOSE.
 * 16) REALIZED THE POOL TABLE IS INNEFFECTIVE.
 * 17) SOME WINDOW CURTAINS FELL ON HIS HEAD, KILLING HIM.
 * 18) HE GOT ANGRY AND CHASED THE CAMERAMAN WHEN HE FINALLY GOT UP.
 * 19) FOUND THE CAMERAMAN UNDER THE POOL TABLE.
 * 20) HE RIPPED THE CAMERAMAN'S COAT ON ACCIDENT.
 * 21) "YOU COCK SUCKEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!"
 * 22) CALLED BULLSHIT ON A 2 DOLLAR PIECE OF TOAST.
 * 23) IF ANYONE CALLS HIM "MELLOW YELLOW", HE'LL KICK HIM RIGHT IN THE COCK.
 * 24) CELEBRATED THE BRONTOSAURUS GOING EXTINCT BECAUSE THEY WERE VEGETARIANS.
 * 25) TOLD A LOWE'S EMPLOYEE TO STAND ON HIS TIPPY TOES AND SHIT.
 * 26) TOLD HIS SON TO QUIT ACTING SMARTASSISH.
 * 27) HE'S GOTTA SHIT.
 * 28) SAID THAT DR. PHIL HAS A BIG DICK.
 * 29) LIKES BIG BLACK WOMEN WITH BIG ASSES.
 * 30) TOLD A BIG BLACK LADY THAT SHE HAS A STUPID FAT ASS, WHICH CAUSED HIM TO GET SLAPPED. THE SLAP CAUSED HIM TO FALL OVER AND DIE.

RECEPTION
DESPITE POSITIVE REVIEWS FROM CORRUPT STUPID SJW CRITICS, HIS VIDEOS WERE HEAVILY PANNED BY ME. WHY ONLY ME YOU MAY ASK? IT'S BECAUSE MY OPINION IS FAR BETTER THAN YOUR OR ANYONE ELSE'S OPINIONS FOR THAT MATTER, SO SHUT UP.

VIDEOS
HIS VIDEOS YOU CAN WATCH (IF YOU DARE)