Blog:ThunderKat's First Impressions: The Simpsons Skateboarding

Considering I used to play The Simpsons Hit & Run a lot when I was younger, it's taken me long enough to try this one; after hearing and reading about how bad this game is, I decided to pick it up from a second-hand shop for next-to-nothing (more on that later), and see for myself; I quit it after playing just one arena. Let that set the tone for this first impressions. Here are my initial thoughts on The Simpson Skateboarding. Also get used to the Tony Hawk comparisons, because there's gonna be a handful of them!

Note: This is not a review of any kind, rather these are my opinions of the game based off of roughly an hour of gameplay.

Gameplay

The game's formula is almost identical to a Tony Hawk game; themed arenas with their own set of objectives to complete. Simple enough, right? Well, not really. The arenas are pretty open, but you need to actually initiate the objective in order to play them; unlike THPS where you're given 2 minutes to play around with these goals. From what I have seen, it looks like each level has its own sets of six challenges in what the game calls "Skillz School" (y'know, make it more hip), the Elementary School stage just has some arbitrary stuff like "Do 4 Ollies", or "Do 3 different grind tricks", all for meagre rewards. But the clumsy way this game handles its goals is amplified by two crippling issues; the level design, and the controls, both of which are absolutely horrendous.

Level Design

Springfield Elementary (the only level I endured) vaguely resembles the location in the show it is based off of, and there isn't any coherent structure to any of the set pieces; ramps and rails are just randomly scattered all over the place with no rhyme or reason to it. At least in Tony Hawk's 3 the set pieces were built into the level themes perfectly allowing for some really good combo potential; the The Simpsons Skateboarding on the other hand doesn't so much as try to construct an elaborate skating arena, with no consideration for cohesive level design. As a result, it really made some of the objectives extremely difficult to complete, especially the score attack objectives. The level also felt incredibly lifeless; it felt like I was roaming around a barren wasteland with nothing in it. Think Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 levels of empty, only with a few NPC's dressing the level up slightly, but then they just stand around like complete lemons until you get close to them.

Controls

This is the absolute worst part of this title: the controls are awful! First off, you use the Left Stick to push forwards instead of holding X. Having played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater so much over the years, muscle memory keeps telling me to hold X to move, but using left stick doesn't feel smooth, natural, or even comfortable since you have to steer with the same stick! Combine the horrible movement with a limited trick pool and lack of proper feedback, the aforementioned score attack objectives are a nightmare unless you are near a grind rail, which is arguably the best way to score fast points in this game.

Another thing I really hate is not being able to spin off of half-pipes; the game tells me I can use the L1/R1 buttons to spin, but I have never got it to work. This only serves to further limit the scoring potential I could get... what little there is! There is also no reverts as well; I wasn't expecting the complete copy of Tony Hawk mind you, but something to keep combos going would help greatly. Compounding the issue of sluggish ground movement is the physics. This could be just because I picked Homer, but I swear the Ollie feels really heavy, to point were I can't even pull off a simple flatland trick without falling off my board.

Presentation

The game gives off a poor first impression with it's opening cinematic; bad music, aesthetic, and some ugly visuals, too. Yeah, the game came out a year before Hit & Run did, but that's no excuse for the graphics to look that fugly! The game tries to be cool and hip, but again, the empty levels make the game feel lifeless and boring. Sound design is an issue as well; the music is generic and stock as it gets, and sound effects aren't anything to write home about. The only good thing I could find sound-wise is the voice clips from the actual Simpson cast...except for Kent Brockman's non-stop commentary which just co-signs the last trick you performed. Fortunately, that can be turned off in the options menu.

As for story...well, it's practically non-existent; an skateboarding contest is being held in Springfield with a cash prize of just $99. One of the first objectives in THPS2 gives you more than that! That's not even 1% of that game's career earnings per skater of $150,000. Not even a month's rent worth of prize money there! The story is summed up on the back of the game's box art, and there's no mention of the story in the game itself, solidifying how meaningless and inconsequential it is.

Final Thoughts

The Simpsons Skateboarding is a shoddily cobbled together mess of a skateboarding game that could give Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 some competition. Poorly designed, awful presentation, sluggish controls that made it almost unplayable, and ugly visuals, all a recipe for a terrible game. The controls in particular killed what little fun I was already having after just the first level. The Code Monkeys could have just copied the basic formula that the Tony Hawk game used right down to the controls, and it would've been at least somewhat tolerable. But they couldn't even do that right. Call me masochistic, but for the £2.50 I spent on it, I had to see for myself just how bad this game truly was; and now I know. Bottom line is this: if you want a good skating game, stick to Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and 3, since those games play better, control better, and are above all else, loads of fun. If you want a good Simpsons game, play Hit & Run; it may be a more kid friendly GTA clone, but it is a good clone, and that's all that matters. And if you were on PC, Xbox, GameCube, or Dreamcast, but not on PS2 when this came out, be thankful you were deprived of this dreck!

ThunderKat's First Impression: Torture!

