Blog:FIFA 25 (Joke page)

FIFA 25 is a 2024 football/soccer game developed and published by different divisions of The Greedy Bastards. It is the 32nd installment in the FIFA franchise. This is the fifth FIFA game to be released for ninth generation consoles.

Why It FUCKING SUCKS TO THE ULTIMATE MOTHERFUCKING EXTREME!!!!!

 * 1) The FIFA 25 player ratings are the worst player ratings out of every game in the series.
 * 2) *Lionel Messi (0 rated) - He has 0.000000000000000001 attack and defense, but he has 1592184394819283918312312312 speed, balance, and mobility.
 * 3) It is '''ONCE MORE, ANOTHER GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING RESKIN OF THE PREVIOUS GAMES.
 * 4) *When you boot up the game, it shows FIFA 25 in the title screen, but when you try to load up the menus, it shows FIFA 21 in the loading screen.
 * 5) Absolutely unacceptable number of bugs and glitches. Hell, one hacker found out that the game has over  12,527  bugs and glitches, and no, most of them aren't fixed after a bunch of updates and patches.
 * 6) Godawful defensive AI. Most defenders are complete fucking morons who can't even do a single fucking tackle.
 * 7) Sloppy running physics. You run on the pitch like you're on ice, you can run through the opponent's players even if they're better than your players, and on controllers, you automatically gain speed by holding the left stick forward in the direction your player is facing.
 * 8) Putrid performance, even on ninth generation consoles.
 * 9) The PC version is just a console port of the eighth-generation console versions, making the PC version the worstest PC port in the entire FIFA franchise. Because of this, you cannot change the game's resolution because there are no video settings, and you cannot change the graphics either because there are no graphics settings. Plus, you cannot re-map the atrocious control scheme (which involves pressing B, L, U, and R to scroll through the menus among other things).
 * 10) Don't even get us started with the microtransactions. Oh, my fucking god, the microtransactions are FUCKING HORRIBLE!!!! THEY ARE THE FUCKING WORST!!!!!! The microtransactions are the worst and the most expensive out of every game in the entire FIFA franchise! And the loot boxes are even worse than the microtransactions, you have to be extremely lucky to get a player you want, otherwise you don't get the desired player in the pack you just opened. There's even a slot machine that you have to pay for real money in a sports game that's about to be rated PEGI 3!
 * 11) *After the gambling controversy of this game before the release, the game was re-rated PEGI 18.
 * 12) Every player, even the best players of all time, were removed and replaced with generic players like Zorch the Infernite of the Netherlands, Flain the Infernite of Northern Ireland, Krader the Cragster of Scotland, Zaptor the Electroid of Brazil, Teslo the Electroid of Uruguay, Volectro the Electroid of Mexico, Jimmy Two-Shoes of the United States, the list goes on.
 * 13) You have to pay a season pass and a membership just to unlock DLCs that you still had to pay for.
 * 14) Horrible cover art, it's basically a photo of the CEO of EA flipping off the consumer that was stretched to fit the cover.
 * 15) Absurd input lag, it takes a 7 full minute delay just to press one button.
 * 16) The server connection is worse than the previous games, it will consume  900MB  of data,  potentially becoming a fire hazard! 

Reception
The game was universally panned by everyone in the fucking planet, and it got a -5821908490384091832098129038901283123 user score on Metacritic.