User:The Dunkman/sandbox/The Last Ninja (NES)

"We hope you've enjoyed battling the roughest, toughest, meanest, hardest, ninja bad guys in the west, and would like thank you for playing our game. Would like thank you? They did it! It's complete, a full home run shit fest! After 200 episodes I never thought I'd see anything so perfectly fucked. This is a major code red on the shit scale! It sits right on there with Jekyll and Hyde! In fact, I think it might even be worse than Jekyll and Hyde, this might be the worst NES game I ever played, and I'm never revisiting this one. I'd rather slurp the liquefied bowels of a diuretic yeti after it's gorged itself on the stinking dead carcass of a rotten warthog. As long as there still exists more shitty games, I will continue to be The Angry Video Game Nerd."

- The Angry Video Game Nerd

The Last Ninja (not to be confused with the 1987 game of the same name) is an action adventure game developed by Beam Software and published by Jaleco for the NES, the game is a port of the 1987 video game Last Ninja 2: Back with a Vengeance and is the first NES game to feature 3D environments.

Why It's the Last Time You'll Play This Game

 * 1) The graphics, while not bad and looks impressive for an NES title, look rather rough, the 3D environments look really confusing since you need to control Armakuni to a direction you can go to, but then you might accidentally go to the wrong direction due to said environments.
 * 2) Atrocious controls, for example, as mentioned, due to the game featuring a 3D environment, you need to control your character into four places, however, at the same time, you might end up going to a direction you don't want to go, and as a result, you can't go to that area unless if you understand the controls.
 * 3) * You can only move diagonally on a console with a controller that only has the directions up, down, left and right.
 * 4) ** This may be because the original Commodore 64 version had a joystick, making the controls easier to manage.
 * 5) Two words: The boat, early on in the game, you may find a river that has a floating boat, but you need to jump on it, and unfortunately, due to the complicated controls, you need to be very precise when jumping on it, and even with the littlest of pixels on that boat, you might still fall. Even if you manage to land on the boat, you have to jump and land on another boat, which you have to hit with your weapon to make it move across the river to the nearby gap.
 * 6) The hit detection is absolutely obnoxious, if you want to punch the enemies or collect the items, you need to be pixel perfect.
 * 7) The life bars of both Armakuni and the enemy you're currently fighting are spiral-shaped, making them confusing to read and hard to tell how many hits you have.
 * 8) You can easily end up lost in the game as it doesn't tell you what to do. For example, near the start of the game, you reach a dead end. What the game doesn't tell you is that you need to hit the button on the wall (which once again you have to be pixel perfect with) that will open up a hatch in the previous room.
 * 9) Much like Dick Tracy, you have to hold select and press B to select the weapons, rather than just simply press select.
 * 10) The weapons are extremely useless and do absolutely nothing to the enemies. As quoted by the AVGN, the weapons go through the enemies as if they were ghosts.
 * 11) Very few enemy types in the game. Most of the enemies you fight use the same moveset. The enemies also get back up very quickly with fully recovered health, forcing you to fight them all over again. Most of them don't even seem to attack you until you hit them first.
 * 12) * One of the enemies you fight is a literal swarm of bees.
 * 13) Very long password system that you have to enter when you get a Game Over, much like Wizard of Oz and Beavis and Butthead.
 * 14) False Advertising: The cover art tells you that this game is the "Game of the Year" when it definitely isn't.
 * 15) The final boss is an absolute nightmare: you need to defeat the shadow/ghost ninja by knocking him into the center of the pentagram in the arena. After that, you need to light all five of the candles to damage him, but due to horrible controls, you don't have enough time to react, and like the enemies and the items, you have to perfectly line up with the candles to light them. But the boss also gets up quickly like the enemies, which resets all the candles.
 * 16) * The boss also immediately gets the first hit on you once it spawns in the arena and can kill you in three hits.
 * 17) The end screen has a typo as it misses the word "to" between "like" and "thank".

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The graphics are impressive for NES standards, besides the problem with this 3d environment.
 * 2) The music however is absolutely great.

Reception
While the home computer port garnered universal acclaim, the NES port received hostile reception. The game is notable for being covered in The Angry Video Game Nerd (episode 201) and has garnered infamy for being the second game to be ranked on the "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" tier of the AVGN's Shit Scale. The Angry Video Game Nerd considered this game to be even worse than Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and the worst game he ever played on the NES, claiming he will never revisit the game.

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