Paddington Bear

Paddington Bear is a platform video game developed by Atomic Planet Entertainment and published by Blast! Entertainment. It is loosely based on the children's books of the same name.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The game is criminally short, lasting only about 25 minutes.
 * 2) Sound effects are pathetic. No matter what Paddington lands on, he will always make a metallic clanking noise. Is he a robot?
 * 3) Floaty jumping controls.
 * 4) The marmalade sandwiches Paddington collects look nothing like marmalade sandwiches. They look more like solitary slices of bread.
 * 5) False advertising: The box claims to have "10 exciting levels of fun activities to enjoy!" but in reality, there are only nine levels (and they are even listed thoroughly in the manual) unless one counts the bedroom as a level, but even then that's a stretch.
 * 6) Music can be repetitive.
 * 7) Very odd animations, especially Mrs Brown waving at the end of level 2.
 * 8) The game is incredibly easy.
 * 9) Speaking of difficulty, the game has Easy and Hard difficulties, but the only difference between them is that you lose more sandwiches in Hard if you screw up. Apart from that, Hard doesn't affect level design or AI.
 * 10) There is literally a walkthrough of the game in the manual. Not that you'll need it, because the game is dead simple anyway.
 * 11) The feature where you can decorate Paddington's bedroom is really pointless, and only really exists as a way to have more of a reason to collect sandwiches, since they are used to buy things for the bedroom. You can't even explore the bedroom as Paddington.
 * 12) No replay value (unless you want to buy absolutely everything for the bedroom).
 * 13) Level 3 can take quite a while, especially considering you have to look around the whole store to find pants, a shirt and a jumper. This doesn't sound too bad, but only three of these hangers have those clothes, and the majority of the hangers just have more sandwiches.
 * 14) Putrid graphics for a game released in 2007. There aren't even any shadows! God of War II had better graphics, and that was released on the same platform, on the same year!
 * 15) Level 4 involves putting away things for Mr Gruber, but Paddington's walk speed is very slow. Some things are meant to be stored far from the desk. Granted, you are also given cakes to increase your speed, but that can actually make the controls somewhat worse, and considering things come to very slowly, you can't use the power up for the time needed. The fact that the level lasts three minutes doesn't help.
 * 16) The tutorial says that the Circle button can be used in some levels, despite the fact that only the first level uses this mechanic. The tutorial also states that the Triangle button can be used to travel stairs, but again, only one level uses this mechanic, the second level.
 * 17) Level 5 literally rips off Pokémon Snap.
 * 18) You cannot lose in this game. At all.
 * 19) Level 7 involves collecting all the "marmalade sandwiches" and after you collect them all, you have to head back to the start of the stage. This can be tricky, because the level is quite big meaning you can get easily lost. It doesn't help that there are also bees everywhere that can slow you down.
 * 20) Paper thin plot.
 * 21) In some levels you don't even have to do anything.

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) The music, while not brilliant, is alright, but as stated earlier, it can get repetitive.